Advice on managing a blended family

Learn about: Advice on managing a blended family from Vicki Hoefle,...
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Advice on managing a blended family

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Some of the challenges that face blended families are really about blending personalities, values, traditions. So what's most important is that the two primary caretakers sit down and say, what are our priorities? Who do we want to be as a new couple? How are we going to navigate our way through the first year as a combined family? Where are the areas that we are likely to get tripped up? It's really important that you flesh that out and address that. You might not have a solution immediately, but at least talking about it let's you keep your eye on where you're going and where potential problems might lay. It's also really important that you parent all the kids in the house. There's none of this division, these are my kids so I'll parent them. And these are yours. You are a family unit. And you dive in head first. And that sometimes means implementing family meetings where everybody has a chance to talk to each other about their preferences, their ideas, the way they'd like to structure the morning, what values they have, so that you all really start to listen to each other. And it's only then that you can start to say, listen, your dad has a real talent for this, and in this area, he's going to kind of take over. And this is my area of expertise. So in this area, I'm going to be much more engaged with the kids. But the kids start to see, wait a minute. They're working together. This is a real family unit. I can't just go to mom or just go to dad. And that really helps everybody come together cohesively and start a brand new family dynamic.

Learn about: Advice on managing a blended family from Vicki Hoefle,...

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Vicki Hoefle

Professional Parent Educator

Vicki Hoefle is a professional parent educator with over 20 years experience teaching parents, educators and caregivers how to raise respectful, responsible and resilient children. Hoefle combines her expertise in Adlerian Psychology and as an International Coaching Federation certified coach to bring parents Duct Tape Parenting, a sustainable and proactive parenting strategy that provides time-tested tools for harvesting a happy and peaceful family life. Her informative and highly engaging presentation style keeps her in demand as a speaker, facilitator and educator. Hoefle is a mother of six and lives in Middlebury, Vermont.

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