Disagreeing on discipline with your partner

David Palmitter, PhD, ABPP Psychologist and Author, shares advice for parents on how to resolve issuers when disagreeing on how to discipline your child, as well as how to have a united parenting front with your partner
Advice For When You And Your Partner Disagree On Discipline
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Disagreeing on discipline with your partner

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I think parents - we need to agree on 3 premises when it comes to partnering with our kids. First, parenting from the cross, sucks. We have to take care of our relationship that has to be a priority, that's number one. Number two is we have to be a united front, even when we disagree we keep that between ourselves as much as we can. Third, we have to ask ourselves what is our goal? The root of the word discipline isn't to kick butt, it's to help, it's to educate. So, I think a key goal is helping a kid to develop a capacity to do things when they don't feel like it. That's a foundation of goal. Around that we build other ones, we can agree on that. I work a lot with parents who come in and they're hostile with each other about this issue and I find it very easy to get them on the same page because their goals are the same. Start with the goals and then what methods most efficiently and effectively will help us to reach those shared goals. It's a great way to get rid of the contention, especially if we're investing on our relationship every week.

David Palmitter, PhD, ABPP Psychologist and Author, shares advice for parents on how to resolve issuers when disagreeing on how to discipline your child, as well as how to have a united parenting front with your partner

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David Palmiter, PhD, ABPP

Psychologist & Author

Dr. David Palmiter is a professor of Psychology and Counseling at Marywood University. He is a practicing and board-certified clinical psychologist, a past president of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the author of over three dozen publications, including two books on promoting resilience in youth, a Fellow of the American Psychological Association (true of < 6% of psychologists), the American Academy of Clinical Psychology and the Pennsylvania Psychological Association in youth. He has also given hundreds of workshops on family issues for organizations such as The Navy SEAL Foundation, The Master Therapist Series at the University of Connecticut, The American Psychological Association and the McGraw-Hill Financial Group and completed hundreds of media projects for outlets such as CNN, The New York Times, US News and World Report and the Wall Street Journal. David is also a dad of three (two studying at Cornell University and one still in high school) and husband of 27 years to Dr. Lia Richards-Palmiter. A central aspect of his professional mission is to put air under the wings of parents as they try to raise happy and resilient children and teens.

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