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Tips for maintaining a strong marriage while parenting

Parenting is real fun than marriage, isn't it? It really is. And I think that when you've been married for 19 years or even fewer than that, you need to spend some real focused attention on your relationship. The two things that have really helped my husband and me as we have progress through this crazy adventure is first of all, assuming the best of each other. Really assuming that the other person is coming up from a place of helpfulness, of love - assuming that no matter is going your partner really wants to help and really is caring for you. It may not be expressed in a way that you might want it that particular time. But I know starting from an assumption of goodness and caring has made all the difference because resentment can really creep into a marriage when you have kids. I means, there just no a lot of time to spend on the romance. Let alone the logistics and sort of data management that you need to do as parents. So that's the first thing, just assume the best of your partner. The other thing is to really remember to have fun. It is so easy to get stuck into the management details of family life. I mean, there's so many details to remember and milk to be picked up than children to be shuttled and decisions to be made. And you can forget to leave time to just have a good time together. It doesn't have to be anything as elaborate as the date with the babysitter or movie and dinner, it can literally be watching ridiculous youtube videos or sharing the private jokes that you have left about for years. It's amazing what happens when there is lots of laughter, sort of padding these difficult moments. It really makes it easier to jump from difficult moment to difficult moment because let's be honest that sometimes what family life is. When there's a lot of laughter and fun sort of in between those moment.

Asha Dornfest, Author and Founder of Parent Hacks, shares advice for parents on the best ways to keep your marriage strong while raising children


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Asha Dornfest

Author of Minimalist Parenting

Asha Dornfest is the co-author of Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less, and the founder of Parent Hacks, an award-winning website devoted to sharing “forehead-smackingly smart” parenting advice. Since its launch in 2005, Parent Hacks has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Real Simple, Family Circle, and Parents, and has been named the “#1 Most Useful” of Babble’s Top 50 Mom Blogs three of the four years the honor has been given. Nielsen named Asha one of its 16 influential “Power Pack Moms,” and she has appeared in several TV and video broadcasts including CNN and ABC News Now. Asha lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and two children.


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