Creative ways to get kids to cooperate and listen

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD Psychotherapist and Author, shares advice for parents on creative and effective ways to get your kids to cooperate and listen better
Creative Ways To Get Kids To Cooperate And Listen
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Creative ways to get kids to cooperate and listen

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So, we all want our children to be cooperative and listen as opposed to being reactive and rigid and freaking out, right. But one of the ways we can do that is through playfulness. So, instead of commanding and demanding, "Get in your car seat right now," or "Put your shoes on right now," we can actually be playful with them. So we say something like, "I'm glad you don't want to get in your car seat today because I'm going to sit there today," and we actually go over and start sitting in the car seat. Or we say, "Don't sit in your car seat today because I have an imaginary friend sitting there, and if you sit on her, she'll start yelling really loud." So doing something playful like that actually shifts the dynamics and allows them to want to be more cooperative and listen. The other thing I would recommend is novelty. Any time we do something new or different, the brain pays more attention, and so just saying something like, "Hey, everybody in the car, and as soon as you're in, I've got a great joke to tell you today." Or, just doing something different from the way you always do things will allow our children to listen more, and inevitably, we usually get more cooperation.

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD Psychotherapist and Author, shares advice for parents on creative and effective ways to get your kids to cooperate and listen better

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Tina Payne Bryson, PhD

Psychotherapist & Author

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, is a psychotherapist at Pediatric and Adolescent Psychology Associates in Arcadia, California, where she sees children and adolescents, as well as provides parenting consultations. She is the school counselor at St. Marks Episcopal School in Altadena, CA, and a Developmental Consultant to Camp Chippewa for Boys. She speaks to parents, educators, and clinicians all across the country. Dr. Bryson earned her PhD from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology. Her best-selling book The Whole-Brain Child (co-authored with Dr. Dan Siegel) gives parents practical ways to transform difficult moments into opportunities for children to thrive.  Dr. Bryson has written for a large number of publications, most recently the PBS series “This Emotional Life.”  She lives near Los Angeles with her husband and three children.  

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Transcription: 
So, we all want our children to be cooperative and listen as opposed to being reactive and rigid and freaking out, right. But one of the ways we can do that is through playfulness. So, instead of commanding and demanding, "Get in your car seat right now," or "Put your shoes on right now," we can actually be playful with them. So we say something like, "I'm glad you don't want to get in your car seat today because I'm going to sit there today," and we actually go over and start sitting in the car seat. Or we say, "Don't sit in your car seat today because I have an imaginary friend sitting there, and if you sit on her, she'll start yelling really loud." So doing something playful like that actually shifts the dynamics and allows them to want to be more cooperative and listen. The other thing I would recommend is novelty. Any time we do something new or different, the brain pays more attention, and so just saying something like, "Hey, everybody in the car, and as soon as you're in, I've got a great joke to tell you today." Or, just doing something different from the way you always do things will allow our children to listen more, and inevitably, we usually get more cooperation.