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Over Scheduling

Tsh Oxenreider, Author & Blogger, SimpleMom.net  | Transcript:When my family is debating how we should spend our time, whether we should do an activity or not, the two main questions we ask ourselves are, one; is this going to benefit the entire family?  

Now that might mean it's just my daughter going to gymnastics, but is it going to create a major headache for everybody involved, because we have to be home at a certain time, someone has to reschedule a meeting, we need extra baby-sitting help over here?  Is it just going to be more effort than it's worth? If so, it might not be the best thing for her to do that activity.  We might need to consider some other activity for her.  

Then the second thing we ask ourselves is, will this activity matter one year from now?  Will it matter, in the long run, if our family's overall life, whether we are going to go to this one holiday party, or school event or something?  Are we mostly going because we feel guilty and we feel like we need to go?  A year from now will we care at all that we went or not?  If we know that we won't care, we can let go of that guilt and realize,
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Author & Blogger, SimpleMom.net

Tsh Oxenreider

Author & Blogger, SimpleMom.net

Tsh Oxenreider is the full-time blogger behind Simple Mom and the founder and creative director of Simple Living Media, a blog network dedicated to helping people live intentionally (while throwing perfection out the window). She thinks a library card, a Netflix subscription, and a passport are some of the greatest parenting tools in the universe. She’s a wife to Kyle, mama to Tate, Reed, and Finn, and is the author of Organized Simplicity and One Bite at a Time: 52 Bites for Making Life Simpler. She is currently working on her next book. Tsh and her nomadic family currently live in Bend, Oregon, but several dots around the globe have also been called home (her 7-year-old has been on 60 airplanes and counting). Together, they love to travel, read books, go camping, and make homemade pizza for Friday Family Movie Night.

Tsh writes about living simply and intentionally at Simple Mom, which was named one of the Top 100 Mom Blogs of 2012. She was also number 2 in the top 50 Twitter Moms of 2011, was named one of the Top 100 Mom Blogs of 2011, her blog was nominated for Best New Blog of 2008, and has been mentioned on Apartment Therapy, HGTV, Better Homes and Gardens, Food Network, CNBC, CNN, NPR, Parents Magazine, and more. She speaks frequently about blogging, writing, living intentionally, and motherhood in between changing diapers and hitting the 'publish' button. She is also an advocate for Compassion International, serving as one of their bloggers, and is a regular contributor at (in)courage. Tsh also records a podcast with Homefries called The Simple Mom Podcast, which during one week ranked second under NPR’s This American Life in most listened-to podcasts.

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Jill Smokler, Author & Owner, Scary Mommy  | Transcript:My kids have very few extracurricular activities primarily because I'm lazy and I don't want to be driving them to a million different places when they get out of school, but really I also think we need to lighten up on our kids.  They are in school for 6-7 hours every day and then they get off, and I have friends who take their kids to 2 or 3 different activities a day, they get home at dinner time and then there's homework and the kids don't have a second to breathe.  My kids, one day a week, each of them has an activity and sometimes I have to slip the others to that activity and they just have to find ways to entertain themselves, but they have a chunk of time at the end of the day to play outside, ride their bike, see neighborhood friends, and I think that's important.  I think there are a lot of people who really over-program their kids, and I think just letting them be kids for a little is really important.
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Author & Owner, Scary Mommy

Jill Smokler

Author & Owner, Scary Mommy

What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill Smokler’s stay-at-home days with her children, (Lily, 9, Ben, 7 and Evan, 5) quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Jill’s honest take on parenting has appeared in numerous publications and on television programs, including The Today ShowThe New York Times, Good Morning America, Nightline and CNN.

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Shefali Tsabary, PhD, Clinical Psychologist & Author   | Transcript:Parents often ask me how do I create my kid's schedule. What should an optimum schedule look like. Parents are concerned about over scheduling their kids or under scheduling their kids. Parents who ask that question often begin at the wrong place. They're more concerned about activities and how many activities a child should do. When we enter the parenting journey focused on activities and external manifestations of behavior, we're going to set our child away from which is they are. Instead what I challenge parents to do is enter the awareness that the first thing a child needs, one of the primary conditions a child needs to try is to have enough space, elastic space for being. What does that mean? There should be enough space in a day where a child can connect to self, to inner spirit and to other, to family. When there is enough room for that then we can add on the icing of activities, or technology or outings or entertainment. The first order of business needs to be how much time a child has to just be. And because of pressures of society, this time has become more and more attenuated and that's why we are seeing the manifestations of more mental health disorders than ever before. Its because we've lost the time and the day to reflect, to be with the self and be with the other. The parent can only do that when they're own focus is on the importance of this. If the child, if the parent is only obsessed with activities then that's how the child is going to live their life. If the parent understands the deep value for inner reflection and inner connectivity and connecting with family, then the parent will make that room just through conscious effort and intention
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Clinical Psychologist & Author

Shefali Tsabary, PhD

Clinical Psychologist & Author

Shefali Tsabary, PhD is the author of the award-winning book, The Conscious Parent. This book has been heralded as a game-changer in the parenting field. Dr. Shefali is an international speaker on conscious parenting and mindful living. She has a private practice in New York.  

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Janis Keyser, MA, Early Childhood Education Specialist & Author  | Transcript:When your child doesn't stick with activities,  it seems like you enroll them in this class, they don't finish, and this activity, they don't finish.  You wonder,
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Early Childhood Education Specialist & Author

Janis Keyser, MA

Early Childhood Education Specialist & Author

Janis Keyser currently works as a site director for a child development program in Mountain View, California. She was a full-time faculty member in the Early Childhood Education Department at Cabrillo College in Aptos, California for 30 years, teaching children, teachers and parents and coordinating a state demonstration infant toddler program. She has written a resource book for parents and one for teachers; and is a nationally recognized speaker at parenting, family and child development conferences, and has conducted workshops nationally and internationally for parents and teachers for over 35 years. She enjoys swimming, kayaking, photography, family games and cooking with friends of all ages.

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Janis Keyser, MA, Early Childhood Education Specialist & Author  | Transcript:We live in a world that is very busy and in which there is a lot of pressure on parents to enroll their children in this enrichment activity, in this sport, in this special activity.  And parents wonder how many of these activities does my child really need to be involved in, what is the good number.  Certainly noticing what it is your child is interested in, helping them pursue that interest whether it is soccer or whether it is music or whether it is dance or art is always helpful to give children a chance to have opportunities to work with those materials.  But children also need downtime.  They need family time.  They need kind of wants nothing time where they can absorb all of the stimulation of their day.  They have huge amounts of stimulation at school.  They usually have expectations after school about homework.  And so, partly it is discovering in your family what is the right amount of activities.  But one or two activities is plenty for children and also ensuring that they have time to spend with family.  And sometimes that time is taking a walk.  Sometimes that time is reading a book together.  Sometimes it is talking about your day.  It is not time in front of the television because families who are in front of the television rarely have conversations with each other, really listen to what each other is saying.  So in addition to their enrichment activities that you provide for your child, it is important they get good outside time, good time connecting with their family where there is a chance for them to both talk and listen to the important members of their family.
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Early Childhood Education Specialist & Author

Janis Keyser, MA

Early Childhood Education Specialist & Author

Janis Keyser currently works as a site director for a child development program in Mountain View, California. She was a full-time faculty member in the Early Childhood Education Department at Cabrillo College in Aptos, California for 30 years, teaching children, teachers and parents and coordinating a state demonstration infant toddler program. She has written a resource book for parents and one for teachers; and is a nationally recognized speaker at parenting, family and child development conferences, and has conducted workshops nationally and internationally for parents and teachers for over 35 years. She enjoys swimming, kayaking, photography, family games and cooking with friends of all ages.

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Rona Renner, RN, Parent Educator  | Transcript:I want to say something about downtime for kids. Our kids are in a very fast past world, they have school, homework, sports, time with family hopefully; there is very little time that time for wonder, the creative when there is nothing planned and you can just go with how you feeling and where your minds want to wonder. For young children, that unstructured play is just golden. Children learn how to problem solve. They get to see where their creativity is and we rush them through their day. We don't have downtime and our kids don't have enough downtime, so think about it, step back, change your weekend plans, have nothing to do for a little bit and  if you can go out to nature for some downtime you will all feel renewed and happier.
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Parent Educator

Rona Renner, RN

Parent Educator

Rona Renner has been a Registered Nurse for 46 years with a wide range of experience in health care. In the last 20 years she has focused her attention on pediatrics, parent education and advocacy, ADHD and learning differences. In 1992, she was trained by Kaiser Permanente Medical Center as a temperament counselor to help parents understand their child's behavior, and she co-wrote the temperament based parenting class manual. In 2002, she founded Childhood Matters, a non-profit organization producing radio shows in English and Spanish. "Nurse Rona" hosted a weekly call-in radio show for over nine years, and has appeared on many television shows, including CNN and 20/20. Rona is the author of Is That Me Yelling, a book aimed to help parents learn how to effectively communicate with their kids by focusing on their child's unique temperament, and their ownShe loves working with parents one-on-one, in groups, or in large workshops. Rona is happily married, has four adult children, and two grandsons.

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D'Lynda  Kaplan, Say-It-Like-It-Is Mom  | Transcript:My oldest daughter, I was excited to sign her up for Ballet classes and she refused to go in.  She didn't want to do it.  You're saying to a three year old,
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Say-It-Like-It-Is Mom

D'Lynda Kaplan

Say-It-Like-It-Is Mom

D’Lynda Kaplan is originally from Texas and has been living in Los Angeles for 15 years. Prior to motherhood, she worked for over a decade at Universal Music Group. She is the mother to four children all under 10 years of age - which means she has a very busy household. In fact, when it comes to hobbies, she only has time to do two things other than parenting: eat and exercise!

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Over Scheduling