When your child is facing medical issues

Frederick Goodall, Blogger of "Mocha Dad", shares advice for parents on how they can stay strong and close when a child faces serious medical issues
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When your child is facing medical issues

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One of the biggest obstacles that I've overcome and I'm still overcoming actually has to do with my 5 year old son. Since he was a child - a young toddler, he has some issues. He wasn't speaking for a long time and he's had many other problems medically that we've been trying to figure out. The frustrating thing for us is we've done so many tests and we still don't have an answer whether we may perceive a problem is. As you can imagine as parent that can be quite frustrating and a little bit scary too. My wife and I, we tried to deal with the situation as best as we can. We've taken him into the doctor's appointment. We've discussed all the things that we may think are going on. We talked to doctors. But through this all we realize it's important for us to really lean on one another, support one another and give each other the guidance to get through the situation. We've gone through all these tests. You know, seeing my son hooked up to all these machines, seeing him lying in bed helpless. Knowing that I can't do anything to help him, really, just breaks my heart as a father. Fathers want to take care of their kids. Fathers want to make sure that everything is okay. And in this instance, I'm not always able to say everything is okay, but what I need to do - what I have done with him is let him know that I'm here for him. Let my other children know that we're going to get through this together whatever it is. Whatever answer we may find out even if we never find an answer. We're going to get through with this together. My wife and I, we have closet conversations many times late at night trying to figure out what do we do and all we can do is be there for one another. And that's the thing that I want people to understand. Medical situations have torn families apart and this is simply because that's not the communication. People are just drawing further apart from one another. You need to circle the wagons and together as a family because you need that strength of our family to build you up and give you the support when you're not believing everything is going to be okay. Someone else in your family can let you know everything is going to be fine and you can believe that because you trust your family and they will give you good guidance and they will let you know you can always come to them for comfort.

Frederick Goodall, Blogger of "Mocha Dad", shares advice for parents on how they can stay strong and close when a child faces serious medical issues

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Frederick J. Goodall

Blogger, "Mocha Dad"

Frederick J. Goodall is a writer, a speaker, and a father. In 2008, he started the popular fatherhood blog, "Mocha Dad" to chronicle his life as a dad and to counter the negative stereotypes regarding black fatherhood. He wanted to give readers a first-hand account of a black father who is intimately involved in his children’s lives. Now he uses the blog to not only capture his experiences, but also to help motivate other men to be more actively engaged and involved with their children, families, and communities.

Through his writing, Goodall attempts to address serious cultural and social issues. His articles and essays have been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and journals such as The Houston Chronicle, Essence, and Folio Weekly. His work has also appeared in the anthologies: Paper Thin/Soul Deep and The African-American Book of Values. In addition, Goodall is a regular contributor to the websites Mamiverse, Goldfishsmiles, Your Teen Mag, and Together Counts. Goodall also travels the country speaking on the topics of fatherhood, men’s issues, social media, and blogging.

Goodall was born in Houston, Texas and graduated from Howard University in Washington, D.C. He currently lives in Houston with his wife and three kids.

More Parenting Videos from Frederick J. Goodall >
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Transcription: 
One of the biggest obstacles that I've overcome and I'm still overcoming actually has to do with my 5 year old son. Since he was a child - a young toddler, he has some issues. He wasn't speaking for a long time and he's had many other problems medically that we've been trying to figure out. The frustrating thing for us is we've done so many tests and we still don't have an answer whether we may perceive a problem is. As you can imagine as parent that can be quite frustrating and a little bit scary too. My wife and I, we tried to deal with the situation as best as we can. We've taken him into the doctor's appointment. We've discussed all the things that we may think are going on. We talked to doctors. But through this all we realize it's important for us to really lean on one another, support one another and give each other the guidance to get through the situation. We've gone through all these tests. You know, seeing my son hooked up to all these machines, seeing him lying in bed helpless. Knowing that I can't do anything to help him, really, just breaks my heart as a father. Fathers want to take care of their kids. Fathers want to make sure that everything is okay. And in this instance, I'm not always able to say everything is okay, but what I need to do - what I have done with him is let him know that I'm here for him. Let my other children know that we're going to get through this together whatever it is. Whatever answer we may find out even if we never find an answer. We're going to get through with this together. My wife and I, we have closet conversations many times late at night trying to figure out what do we do and all we can do is be there for one another. And that's the thing that I want people to understand. Medical situations have torn families apart and this is simply because that's not the communication. People are just drawing further apart from one another. You need to circle the wagons and together as a family because you need that strength of our family to build you up and give you the support when you're not believing everything is going to be okay. Someone else in your family can let you know everything is going to be fine and you can believe that because you trust your family and they will give you good guidance and they will let you know you can always come to them for comfort.