Fostering cooperation with kids

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Fostering cooperation with kids

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So fostering cooperation from kids really begins with understanding their perspective. And it is important for us to remember that in the life of a child, from the time they wake up until the time they go to bed, they are pretty much being told what to do. Get up, get dressed, get out the door, tie your shoes, get to school, do your homework, brush your teeth and so forth. And so on top of that, coming from that perspective of being told what to do pretty much all day long, we are asking them to be cooperative on top of that. And consider yourself as an adult, how cooperative do you want to be with something who is telling you what to do all the time? So keeping that in mind, parents obviously, we need to tell kids what to do. We need to help them through their day to day. But at the same time, it is important that we give them a voice whenever possible so that it is not just us directing them through their day-to-day, but we are dialoguing with them. We are giving them a voice. We are giving them a choice whenever possible so that there is a mutual respect. And when we do that, they are more likely to cooperate with us when we need them to.

View Gila Brown, MA's video on Fostering cooperation with kids...

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Gila Brown, MA, MFT

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist/ Parenting Expert

A middle school teacher turned child development specialist, Gila Brown, MA, MA, is the creator of Harmony Rules: How to Parent Confidently and Raise Super Kids.  With over 15 years of experience working with kids of all ages, Gila has helped countless parents transform life at home, enjoying a greater sense of peace and more rewarding relationships with their kids. Known for her fluency in ‘kid-speak’, Gila helps parents who are facing regular power struggles by giving them tools and strategies to respond with positive discipline and effective communication.

After receiving her BA from USC, Gila began her career in museum education and family programming.  She went on to receive her MA in human development from Pacific Oaks College, along with a teaching credential. After years of classroom teaching, Gila shifted gears deciding that she could best help kids by helping their parents. As a child development specialist, Gila earned an MA in clinical psychology from Antioch University. Her expertise and background in both education and psychology give her a unique perspective on child behavior and the family system.

Gila is in private practice in Beverly Hills where she works with individual adults and parents.  She also specializes in working with families coping with divorce. Gila teaches parenting workshops through numerous schools and parenting organizations.

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Transcription: 
So fostering cooperation from kids really begins with understanding their perspective. And it is important for us to remember that in the life of a child, from the time they wake up until the time they go to bed, they are pretty much being told what to do. Get up, get dressed, get out the door, tie your shoes, get to school, do your homework, brush your teeth and so forth. And so on top of that, coming from that perspective of being told what to do pretty much all day long, we are asking them to be cooperative on top of that. And consider yourself as an adult, how cooperative do you want to be with something who is telling you what to do all the time? So keeping that in mind, parents obviously, we need to tell kids what to do. We need to help them through their day to day. But at the same time, it is important that we give them a voice whenever possible so that it is not just us directing them through their day-to-day, but we are dialoguing with them. We are giving them a voice. We are giving them a choice whenever possible so that there is a mutual respect. And when we do that, they are more likely to cooperate with us when we need them to.