Answering a child's question about a parent's past drug use

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Answering a child's question about a parent's past drug use

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Opinions vary widely as to how you should answer the question, "Did you use drugs when you were younger, mommy?" We think though, and we're supported by a couple of recent studies, that honesty is the best policy. Now let me give you a couple of cautionary notes before we start. It's really important; don't answer the question until it's asked. You don't need to start dishing about your sorted past until your kids express interest. Second, don't answer the question if your child is too young or too immature to handle the answer that you're about to give them. If they're too young to hear the answer, we usually try to deflect their interest to another area. "Is that an eagle?" usually works for us. Just deflect them; they're gonna forget their question in like five seconds. If you choose, however, to answer the question, it's a three step process. Yes I did. Now put a period at the end of that sentence. They don't need to hear laundry lists of drugs that you've done. They don't need to hear horror stories about how drugs went bad in your life. That tends to glorify drug use in their minds. Step two, explain why it was that you found yourself using drugs. Immaturity, ignorance, differing laws come to mind here as reasons why people used to use back in the old days. And then third, describe why it is that you stopped. Now don't make up all kinds of really dramatic reasons for stopping. Try and figure out why it was that you stopped. Did you just get bored? Did the drugs get in the way of you being able to live your life? It's really hard to pay a mortgage, hold a job, and raise a family while you're constantly stoned. It doesn't tend to work out well for people as they grow up. So why did you stop? One of the best things we think you can say though, if it's true, is tell your kids, "I stopped when I thought about having you. Because I couldn't be the parent I wanted to be for you and be high at the same time. I stopped because I love you."

View Jonathan Scott's video on Answering a child's question about a parent's past drug use...

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Jonathan Scott

Drug Prevention Speaker, Author & Dad

Miles to Go educators, Jonathan and Kelly are professional speakers, writers and parents who specialize in drug prevention education for students, teachers and parents. Working from their base in Southern California, they have spent the past 17 years lecturing in the private school community using humor, science and multi-sensory teaching techniques to simplify a complex subject. Their first book, Not All Kids Do Drugs came out in 2010 and their second The Mother’s Checklist of Drug Prevention in 2011. Their third book, Where’s The Party was published in 2012.

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