One of the worst crimes that you can be guilty of as a parent is to be guilty of the crime of lecturing. We always equate lecturing parents to Charlie Brown’s teacher in the Old Peanuts cartoons. If you don’t want to come off sounding like some sort of wah-wah trumpet, don’t lecture your kids. If you want to talk to your kids in a meaningful way, you need to look for what I call teachable moments. You have to find a way to make the drug and alcohol conversation contextual. Movies, TV shows, anti drug ads on TV, anti drug billboards, even friends and family members that are struggling with drug and alcohol issues give you a chance to ask your teenager, “What do you think about this?” Now this is going to work a lot better if over the years you’ve had an ongoing communicative relationship with your child. It’s going to work a lot better, because if you only talk to your kids when you make your points, they’re going to see you coming like a mile away. The important point here is not to make your point that you’re right. The important point here is to understand what your kid thinks. You obviously want to make your points, but it’s important here to understand what your kid’s view of the world is not what you tell them it should be.