Helping girls when they don't have enough "friends" on social media

Educator, Rachel Simmons, Author of Odd Girl Out, discusses girls' obsession with social media
Helping Your Daughter With The Stress That Social Media Can Cause - Parenting Advice
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Helping girls when they don't have enough "friends" on social media

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If your daughter feels neglected or uncool on social media, the most important thing is taking her seriously. You don’t want to roll your eyes and be like, “Oh come on”, you know, “this is just a stupid social media thing, that doesn’t count.” For her, it matters. For her, not only does it matter, it’s a huge part of her existence. So, I think empathy is really important. Look at your daughter and say, “that must feel really hard; you must feel disappointed, sad and I feel for you”. After that, though, I think it’s our responsibility as parents to make sure that girls recognize that even though they get to see in writing how many friends or likes they have, that’s not the true measure of a healthy friendship. This is a great opportunity to say to your daughter, “What do you like about yourself as a friend? What are the qualities of friendship that you are most proud of? “Or, to talk about a friendship in her life that you know she feels good about and say, “What do you love about that relationship? “ When your daughter can focus on the true, exciting, pleasurable, real and joyful aspects of a relationship, she will be a little bit more distracted from her social media presence which may be disappointing her.

Educator, Rachel Simmons, Author of Odd Girl Out, discusses girls' obsession with social media

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Rachel Simmons

Author & Educator

Rachel Simmons is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, and The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence. As an educator, Rachel works internationally to empower young women to be more authentic, assertive and self-aware.

Rachel is a Vassar graduate and Rhodes Scholar from New York. The co-founder of the Girls Leadership Institute, she is an experienced curriculum writer and educator who works with schools and organizations around the world. She currently develops leadership programs for undergraduate women at the Center for Work and Life at Smith College. She has previously worked as a classroom teacher in Massachusetts and South Africa.

Rachel was the host of the recent PBS television special, “A Girl’s Life,” and is a contributing writer and advice columnist for Teen Vogue.

Rachel has appeared on Oprah and the Today show, and appears regularly in the national me- dia. Odd Girl Out was adapted into a highly acclaimed Lifetime television movie. Rachel lives in western Massachusetts with her daughter and West Highland Terrier, Rosie, who is currently taking private workshops with Rachel to learn how to stop bullying other dogs.

For more information, please visit www.rachelsimmons.com.

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Transcription: 
If your daughter feels neglected or uncool on social media, the most important thing is taking her seriously. You don’t want to roll your eyes and be like, “Oh come on”, you know, “this is just a stupid social media thing, that doesn’t count.” For her, it matters. For her, not only does it matter, it’s a huge part of her existence. So, I think empathy is really important. Look at your daughter and say, “that must feel really hard; you must feel disappointed, sad and I feel for you”. After that, though, I think it’s our responsibility as parents to make sure that girls recognize that even though they get to see in writing how many friends or likes they have, that’s not the true measure of a healthy friendship. This is a great opportunity to say to your daughter, “What do you like about yourself as a friend? What are the qualities of friendship that you are most proud of? “Or, to talk about a friendship in her life that you know she feels good about and say, “What do you love about that relationship? “ When your daughter can focus on the true, exciting, pleasurable, real and joyful aspects of a relationship, she will be a little bit more distracted from her social media presence which may be disappointing her.