Kids' reactions to parent's drug and alcohol recovery

Learn about: Kids' reactions to parent's drug and alcohol recovery from Connor Barnas,...
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Kids' reactions to parent's drug and alcohol recovery

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I had 7 years clean when I had my first child. And I understood the importance of maintaining my meeting attendance. When my children were tiny, I would take them into meetings in a sling. As they grew and became more active, I still needed to be in meetings, but I needed to protect them. So I would sit back from the main center of the meeting. I would lay out a blanket on the floor, and I would have toys that would engage the children, so that they would be engaged and not paying attention. I wouldn't share, but I would be listening and participating to the best of my ability in a meeting. Still present but protecting my children's innocence. Because it's important for me to get what I need for my recovery. But it's also as important for my children to be protected because there are things that are going on that they don't need to be a part of. As they have gotten older, if I still need to go to a meeting and my husband is unavailable, I will find a safe room in the meeting house, in the meeting facility just outside where the meeting is being held. I will set them up with books and with homework outside a closed door where I know that they're safe where they're not participating in the meeting and hearing what's been shared. I'm handling my recovery. I'm participating in my recovery and my children are being taken care of.

Learn about: Kids' reactions to parent's drug and alcohol recovery from Connor Barnas,...

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Connor Barnas

Mom

Connor Barnas is blessed and busy, living life with her husband Ethan and two children, Magdalena June, eight, and Augustus Wolfe, six in the midst of finding the sacred in the mundane and allowing space for serenity. After being given the gift of desperation, Connor began her life of recovery and discovery within the 12 Step paradigms in 1995. In 2002 she graduated from the University of New Mexico with a bachelor’s degree in Fine Art and married the love of her life, Ethan; moved to a beautiful, dusty, desert town; and began her journey as a wife and mother.  

In 2003, Connor co-founded an Attachment Parenting group, and became a leader shortly after.  Connor has been involved in the Attachment Parenting community as a leader and a resource, and was honored as a featured volunteer during Volunteer Recognition Week, April 2011 by Attachment Parenting International. 

After relocating and settling in Jacksonville, Florida, to be close to her family of origin, Connor founded HAP East, a local homeschooling group whose focus and mission is to create community and continuity of relationship for homeschooling/attachment parenting families. 

Connor joyfully shares her experience, strength and hope with families and friends in the recovery, homeschool, and AP communities; she combines the spiritual principles of the 12 steps with the practical and compassionate parenting strategies of API to inform her path and growth as a woman, mother, wife, and active member of her world. 

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Transcription: 
I had 7 years clean when I had my first child. And I understood the importance of maintaining my meeting attendance. When my children were tiny, I would take them into meetings in a sling. As they grew and became more active, I still needed to be in meetings, but I needed to protect them. So I would sit back from the main center of the meeting. I would lay out a blanket on the floor, and I would have toys that would engage the children, so that they would be engaged and not paying attention. I wouldn't share, but I would be listening and participating to the best of my ability in a meeting. Still present but protecting my children's innocence. Because it's important for me to get what I need for my recovery. But it's also as important for my children to be protected because there are things that are going on that they don't need to be a part of. As they have gotten older, if I still need to go to a meeting and my husband is unavailable, I will find a safe room in the meeting house, in the meeting facility just outside where the meeting is being held. I will set them up with books and with homework outside a closed door where I know that they're safe where they're not participating in the meeting and hearing what's been shared. I'm handling my recovery. I'm participating in my recovery and my children are being taken care of.