Kids with perfectionist tendencies

Parent Educator Rona Renner, RN, shares advice for parents on the best way to help your child overcome his or her perfectionism and learn to accept making mistakes
Tips For Parenting Kids With Perfectionist Tendencies
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Kids with perfectionist tendencies

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Some kids, even at a very young age, seem to be perfectionists. They really want things to be ordered. They like to have things how they have them. They want to do really well at school. And they scribble out their work if they get it wrong, or they throw it away because they just don't want to make mistakes. Now a lot of this is about their temperament, but there are some things you can think about. Number one, always look at yourself. Think, do I have too high of an expectation for my child. You may say, well one child is not a perfectionist and one child is. I don't think that I'm making her that way. And that's good. Just evaluate that. Also let your child see you make mistakes. When you do something wrong, say it out loud and laugh about it. If you see your child's perfectionism getting stronger and stronger, think about how much stress in their life. Make sure that they don't have too many after school activities, too much homework. But also know that this is a normal thing for some children. They feel more comfortable when there is order. And it's not necessarily a bad thing. it gets hard when there's impairment and suddenly they can't enjoy themselves because they're trying to get everything right. I think for adults, when you remember your own perfectionism, remember that you could let that go, that people like you for who you are and not for everything you do. So it is something to work on, but don't be afraid of it.

Parent Educator Rona Renner, RN, shares advice for parents on the best way to help your child overcome his or her perfectionism and learn to accept making mistakes

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Rona Renner, RN

Parent Educator

Rona Renner has been a Registered Nurse for 46 years with a wide range of experience in health care. In the last 20 years she has focused her attention on pediatrics, parent education and advocacy, ADHD and learning differences. In 1992, she was trained by Kaiser Permanente Medical Center as a temperament counselor to help parents understand their child's behavior, and she co-wrote the temperament based parenting class manual. In 2002, she founded Childhood Matters, a non-profit organization producing radio shows in English and Spanish. "Nurse Rona" hosted a weekly call-in radio show for over nine years, and has appeared on many television shows, including CNN and 20/20. Rona is the author of Is That Me Yelling, a book aimed to help parents learn how to effectively communicate with their kids by focusing on their child's unique temperament, and their ownShe loves working with parents one-on-one, in groups, or in large workshops. Rona is happily married, has four adult children, and two grandsons.

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