Andy-Earle's blog https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/andy-earle en 6 Ways Your Teen Might be Hiding Things From You Online https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/andy-earle/6-ways-your-teen-might-be-hiding-things-from-you-online <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/teen-computer.jpg" width="600" height="434" alt="teen-hiding-stuff-online" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Think you have a pretty good idea of what your teen is up to online? Don’t be so sure. Research indicates the majority of parents over-estimate their understanding of what teens are doing on the web. The reason is simple: teens today are really good at covering their digital tracks.</p> <p>In this article, I’m going to show you the six most common strategies teenagers use to hide their Internet activity from the folks. This data comes from a study of over 1,000 teenagers and parents conducted by the internet security firm McAfee.</p> <p><strong>1. Most Teens Clear their Browsing History</strong></p> <p>Even though over three-quarters of parents believe their teen isn’t accessing age-inappropriate content, more than two-thirds of teens claim their parents don’t know everything they do online. The most popular defense against parent-snooping appears to be deleting browser history, with 53% of teens participating. By eliminating suspicious sites from their history, teens can easily lull parents into a false sense of security and help teens avoid geting grounded or sent off to <a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/boot-camp-for-troubled-teens-and-kids/">boot camp</a>.</p> <p><strong>2. 34% of Teens Hide or Delete Messages or Videos</strong></p> <p>The majority of the illicit content teens come across on the web doesn’t just pop up on Google, it comes in the form of a message from one of their peers. To avoid getting themselves and their friends in trouble, many teens are in the habit of deleting all explicit messages as soon as they’ve been viewed. It's understandable that a parent would be concerned if they sense their teen is hiding something, but fortunately, there are ways to <a href="https://www.techuntold.com/retrieve-blocked-text-messages-samsung-android/">retrieve blocked text messages</a> without being too intrusive or upsetting your teen. The process depends on the type of technology your teen is using, but generally you'll need to acquire access credentials in order to gain entry. Taking the right steps will help you uncover any hidden messages while still allowing your teen to maintain some level of privacy and trust between you both. Alternatively, your teen could be the one sending risque material around their peer group, then clearing their sent folder to cover their trail. Direct messages can be exchanged on all social media platforms and are virtually impossible to recover once they’ve been deleted.</p> <p><strong>3. 23% Straight Up Lie (or Omit Information)</strong></p> <p>This one may not come as much of a surprise, but it’s still a significant figure. Over twenty percent of teens simply lie to their parents about what they do online, or choose to omit the details. Let’s break down what they’re lying about. It might shock you to hear that 48% of teens admit to looking up answers to tests or otherwise cheating online. This dramatic level of dishonesty is even steeper than the amount of teens that view pornographic content (32%) or violent content (43%). Together, cheating, nudity, and violence dominate the shortcomings in parents’ awareness over teens’ online access.</p> <p><strong>4. Privacy Settings</strong></p> <p>These social media settings are supposed to be used for hiding certain posts and even your entire account from people you don’t trust. But teenagers have learned they can completely block parents from viewing their accounts using the same technology meant to keep creepy strangers at bay. In fact, 20% of teens admit to doing this. Naive parents can be misled about their teen’s social media presence simply because they’ve been blocked.</p> <p><strong>5. 20% utilize Web Proxies or Private Browsing</strong></p> <p>Proxies and private browsing modes allow teens to surf the web without being tracked on their PC or phone. This feature leaves no trace on the device because it dumps all the user data, cookies, and history at the end of each browsing session. Specifically, proxies can let teens browse content as if they were a different person in a different place by bouncing their connection through hard-to-trace servers. Proxies can also make online content appear to be coming from unusual sources. This trick helps forbidden content get past certain cyber security features that you might have installed on your home Internet or your teen’s devices.</p> <p><strong>6. Fake Accounts</strong></p> <p>15% of teens have an alternate email account and 9% have a fake social media account. Both types of secret accounts benefit teens in different ways. The fake email account allows teens to subscribe to services, send hidden messages, and make purchases online without parents knowing. An email account can be linked to a variety of websites, like social media accounts, giving your teen unrestricted access. In fact, nearly one in ten teens has a secret social media account they hide from parents. With a real account and a fake account, teens can craft two different online personas: one full of <a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/inspirational-quotes-for-teens/">parent-friendly inspirational quotes</a> and memes, and a secret one that is just for friends.</p> <p><strong>Source</strong><br />http://www.mccafee.com/us/resources/misc/digital-divide-study.pdf</p> </div></div></div> Tue, 19 Oct 2021 16:44:23 +0000 Andy-Earle 51469 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/andy-earle/6-ways-your-teen-might-be-hiding-things-from-you-online#comments Why Teenagers Lie About Stupid Things: The Science of Teen Truthfulness https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/andy-earle/why-teenagers-lie-about-stupid-things-the-science-of-teen-truthfulness <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/why-teens-lie.jpg" width="600" height="338" alt="teenager caught lying" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Nearly every teenager on the planet admits to lying about something—and the ones who don’t admit it are probably lying about that. But what do teens lie about most? Studies show the number one thing teens lie about is where they were (65%, Knox). Also, about half of teens (49%) say they’ve lied about their sexual experiences, 41% are have lied about who they were with, and 42% have been untruthful about their <a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/underage-drinking-facts/">alcohol consumption</a> (Knox).</p> <p>Here’s the science behind why teenagers lie. I’ve broken it up into three main categories based on the research literature: age, home environment, and independence.</p> <p><strong>Three Fib Factors</strong></p> <p><u>1. Age</u></p> <p>Children learn early on that they can avoid consequences, like time-outs, by misleading adults. These deceptive strategies evolve into lying as the children grow older (Halpert). However, not all lying is malicious. Kids often lie for altruistic purposes, like to save a friend from getting in trouble (Lee). In fact, children may not even see this type of lying as “bad” because it’s done in the name of truth.</p> <p>Researchers have found that lying is highest around ages 13-15, with teens lying more than younger kids. After age 15, teens usually lie less as they get older and start to spend less time at home (Knox). This means that, because of some changes in the <a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/about-your-teenagers-brain/">teenage brain</a>, lying peaks in the early-mid teen years and then starts to fall. If your teen is experiencing an urge to lie, their age may be a key factor. Try getting them out of the house more to let them have some space. Also, remind yourself that lying swiftly drops off as teenagers leave for college.</p> <p><u>2. Home Environment</u></p> <p>Scientists who study the home and its relationship to truthfulness agree that warm, close-knit families have fewer issues with lying (Kashy). Conversely, when parents attempt to exercise greater control over their children, the kids are more likely to lie (Jensen). Also, teens with married parents lie more often than teens with separated parents (Knox).</p> <p>Overall, teens are more truthful in environments where parents have less control. When teens don’t feel like their freedom is being threatened, they don’t lie as much. Teens who divide their time between two homes often don’t feel as controlled by parents, so they tell the truth more often.</p> <p><u>3. Independence</u></p> <p>Teens crave autonomy and will avoid truth in order to get it (Allen). Using dishonesty can allow teens to make certain knowledge unattainable by their parents. This makes them feel powerful and more in control of their life. I’ve found the needs for power and independence are among the biggest factors in <a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/how-to-deal-with-a-defiant-teenager-strategies/">teenage defiance</a>.</p> <p>Another consequence of these needs is that teenagers desperately want to take a stab at handling their own problems. Sometimes they will use deception (“Everything’s fine, mom”) to inhibit parents from intervening (Jensen). For teens who want to solve their own problems, opening up about what’s wrong can actually pose a threat to their autonomy because they don’t want you to swoop in and fix it for them. To fix their mental issues, the struggling person can take the <a href="https://nexusteenacademy.com/mental-health-treatment-for-teens-in-arizona/">mental health treatment program for teens</a>.</p> <p><strong>So What Can I Do?</strong></p> <p>Have a talk with your teenager and tell them you want to give them more space and let them solve more of their own problems. Talk to your teen about their “zone of privacy”. Say your teen is always free to tell you they don’t want to talk about something and you’ll stop asking. Promise to honor these requests when your teen makes them. Anything you can do to give your teen space and make them feel like you aren’t controlling them is great. But also keep in mind that if your teen is 14 years old, they’re at the highest levels of deception of their entire life. Some lying may be unavoidable.</p> <p>References</p> <p>Allen, J. P., Hauser, S. T., Bell, K. L., &amp; O'Connor, T. G. (1994). Longitudinal assessment of autonomy and relatedness in adolescent‐family interactions as predictors of adolescent ego development and self‐esteem. Child development, 65(1), 179-194.</p> <p>Backbier, E., Hoogstraten, J., &amp; Terwogt‐Kouwenhoven, K. M. (1997). Situational Determinants of the Acceptability of Telling Lies 1. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 27(12), 1048-1062.</p> <p>Engels, R. C., Finkenauer, C., &amp; van Kooten, D. C. (2006). Lying behavior, family functioning and adjustment in early adolescence. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 35(6), 949-958.</p> <p>Stouthamer-Loeber, M. (1986). Lying as a problem behavior in children: A review. Clinical Psychology Review, 6(4), 267-289.</p> <p>Halpert, E. (2000). On lying and the lie of a toddler. The Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 69(4), 659-675.</p> <p>Jensen, L. A., Arnett, J. J., Feldman, S. S., &amp; Cauffman, E. (2004). The right to do wrong: Lying to parents among adolescents and emerging adults. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 33(2), 101-112.</p> <p>Kashy, D. A., &amp; DePaulo, B. M. (1996). Who lies?. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70(5), 1037.</p> <p>Keltikangas-Jarvinen, L., and Lindeman, M. (1997). Evaluations of theft, lying, and fighting in adolescence. J. Youth Adolesc. 26: 467– 483.</p> <p>Knox, D., Zusman, M. E., McGinty, K., &amp; Gescheidler, J. (2001). Deception of Parents During Adolescence. Adolescence, 36(143), 611+. Retrieved from https://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A82535331/HRCA?u=indi36682&amp;sid=HRCA&amp;xid=42c06e4e</p> <p>Lee, K., and Ross, H. J. (1997). The concept of lying in adolescents and young adults: Testing Sweetzer’s folkloristic model. Merrill- Palmer Q. 43: 255–270</p> </div></div></div> Tue, 30 Jul 2019 00:11:35 +0000 Andy-Earle 51424 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/andy-earle/why-teenagers-lie-about-stupid-things-the-science-of-teen-truthfulness#comments The ULTIMATE Guide to Teen Slang https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/andy-earle/the-ultimate-guide-to-teen-slang <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/teen-slang-parenting-guide.jpg" width="1280" height="668" alt="teen slang parenting guide" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Is your teen suddenly dropping slang terms like “Gucci”, “creeper”, and “lit” into casual conversation? Or have you overheard your teen talking to their “squad” about someone who is “throwing shade”? Today, teen slang can seem like a completely different language. What do all of these foreign words mean? Often, teen slang is entirely harmless. But sometimes teens use their shared “lingo” to disguise the true topic of their conversation from adults and discuss potentially worrisome behavior “on the low”. As a parent, it’s not enough to just follow your teens on social media and <a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/iphone-parental-controls/">set up parental controls on their iPhones</a>. You absolutely need to be familiar with the most popular teen slang. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! My team and I have scoured the internet and interviewed over a dozen teens to assemble this ultimate guide to teen slang. With our help, you’ll be “woke” in no time—“no cap”. </p> <p><strong>Positive or Casual Teen Slang</strong></p> <p>Let’s start with the good stuff. These terms are life-affirming and innocent. When you hear this teen slang it usually mean there is nothing to worry about. Teens use adjectives like “fire”, ”savage”, and “on fleek”, to spice up their dialogue when they are talking about something or someone who is particularly cool.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Fam</strong> – A tight group or a close friend.</li> <li><strong>Lit / Fire / Gas</strong> – Great, fun, or exciting. Can be used to describe anything from parties to burritos.</li> <li><strong>No Cap </strong>– Not kidding. “This place is great, no cap.”</li> <li><strong>Bruh</strong> – Bro, or brother. Can be used in support or in astonishment to react to a friend.</li> <li><strong>I’m weak / I’m dead</strong> – That’s hilarious!</li> <li><strong>Hundo P</strong> – One Hundred Percent. Used to express agreement.</li> <li><strong>Gucci</strong> – Good. Similarly, “What’s Gucci?” is used to ask what’s going on or how someone is doing.</li> <li><strong>FOMO / JOMO</strong> – Fear (or Joy) of Missing Out. This is the emotion experienced when you are left out of a social situation.</li> <li><strong>Glow Up </strong>– To transform in a beautiful way. Most often, this refers to growing up and becoming a more wonderful version of yourself.</li> <li><strong>OG</strong> – Original Gangster. Meaning the original, or the first one.</li> <li><strong>GOAT</strong> – The Greatest of All Time.</li> <li><strong>AF </strong>– As Fuck. Immensely, or very much so.</li> <li><strong>Bop</strong> – A great song, also known as a jam!</li> <li><strong>Finna</strong> – Fixing to. “I finna’ get some dinner after this.”</li> <li><strong>Fierce</strong> – Strong, empowered, or making a statement.</li> <li><strong>Vibe</strong> – A certain feeling, frequently a positive or unique atmosphere.</li> <li><strong>Squad</strong> – A close group of friends. “Squadding up” means getting together with friends.</li> <li><strong>Woke </strong>– Socially aware, intelligent, or informed about an issue.</li> <li><strong>Savage</strong> – Intense, no holds barred.</li> <li><strong>Cop </strong>– To acquire, as in, “I went to the mall to cop some new threads (clothes).”</li> <li><strong>Bet</strong> – A sure thing. Used as an affirmative response.</li> <li><strong>On fleek</strong> – “On point” or very good, as in the perfect application of make-up or a great post on social media.</li> <li><strong>Killing it </strong>– Doing very well, like “You got a 4.0 GPA this semester? Fam, you killing it!”</li> <li><strong>Peep</strong> – To check out or look at. “Peep this video!”</li> </ul> <p><strong>Teen Slang to Watch Out For:</strong> This category of teen slang most likely has a negative connotation. But that doesn’t mean it’s a red flag. Sometimes, teens use this slang to complain about the social habits of others or spread gossip. Pay attention to the context when you hear your teen using these words.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Low-Key / High-Key </strong>– Secretive / Obvious. This might mean your teen has something to hide.</li> <li><strong>Salty </strong>– Being bitter or negative about something, or holding a grudge.</li> <li><strong>Tea </strong>(Spilling versus Sipping) – Tea is term for gossip. “Spilling tea” refers to spreading gossip, while “sipping tea” means minding one’s own business.</li> <li><strong>Shade </strong>– Negativity, hate, dislike. “Throwing shade” means insulting someone.</li> <li><strong>Roasted </strong>– Embarrassed, teased, or made fun of.</li> <li><strong>Creeper</strong> – Someone who makes you uncomfortable by hanging around or being invasive.</li> <li><strong>Molly</strong> – The drug MDMA.</li> <li><strong>X</strong> – Represents the drug Ecstasy.</li> <li><strong>Turnt</strong> – Getting drunk or high.</li> <li><strong>Tweaking</strong> – Highly energetic, agitated, or freaking out.</li> <li><strong>Dex</strong> – Short for dextromethorphan, or DXM, a dissociative drug found in cough syrup that many teens abuse to get high.</li> <li><strong>Sizzurp</strong> – A cocktail made of cough syrup and a soft drink such as grape soda. Also referred to as “Purple Drank” or “Lean”.</li> <li><strong>Crossed / Crunk </strong>– Intoxicated with a mixture of marijuana and alcohol (you can “peep” my <a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/underage-drinking-facts/">guide to underage drinking</a> for more on teen alcohol use).</li> <li><strong>Toasted</strong> – High on marijuana, or “baked”.</li> <li><strong>Thot</strong> – That Ho Over There. An acronym that boils down to calling someone a whore.</li> <li><strong>Sus</strong> – Suspect, dangerous, or suspicious.</li> <li><strong>Jelly </strong>– Jealous.</li> <li><strong>Finsta </strong>– A secret Instagram account. Often used to hide scandalous photos from adults.</li> <li><strong>Trippin’</strong> – Worrying about something. Conversly, “Don’t trip!” means there’s no need to stress.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Dating and Sex-Related Teen Slang:</strong></p> <p>Is your teen involved in a secret relationship? It can be hard to tell if you don’t know the lingo. Some of these words, like “bae”, come up often in a non-sexual way and might be benign. But if you start hearing more than a few terms from this list, there’s a good chance your teen is getting physically or emotionally involved with someone. Here’s some of the hottest teen slang used in the context of dating.</p> <ul> <li><strong>Bae </strong>– Before Anyone Else. A short word for a loved one, commonly a significant other or best friend.</li> <li><strong>Curve</strong> – To reject someone or “curve” the conversation away from flirting.</li> <li><strong>Baddie</strong> – A “bad” girl or guy. Someone who is attractive and/or sexually forward.</li> <li><strong>Ghost</strong> – To ignore someone on social media or in real life.</li> <li><strong>Catfish</strong> – A fake online profile used for the purposes of dating.</li> <li><strong>Thirsty</strong> – Another word for horny or wanting sex.</li> <li><strong>Daddy</strong> – Used to describe a man as older, hairier, or stronger, with a sexual connotation.</li> <li><strong>Dime</strong> – A perfect ten-out-of-ten, or someone who is very attractive. NOTE: a “dime bag” or a “dime” for short can also refer to $10 worth of marijuana or another drug.</li> <li><strong>Thicc</strong> – A voluptuous woman, or someone with “thick” thighs and hips.</li> <li><strong>DM </strong>– Direct Message on social media. This is often a first move in online flirting.</li> <li><strong>Left on Read</strong> – When a text message has been read but not replied to.</li> <li><strong>Netflix and Chill</strong> – “Hooking-up” under the pretext of watching a movie.</li> <li><strong>Slow Fade</strong> – Gradually backing out of a relationship. Like “ghosting,” but more gradual.</li> <li><strong>Smash</strong> – A word for casual sex.</li> <li><strong>Ship</strong> – Relationship. “I’d ship it” means you support a relationship between two people.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Author Bio:</strong> <a href="https://talkingtoteens.com/about-andy-earle/">Andy Earle</a> is a researcher who studies parent-teen communication and adolescent risk behaviors. He is the co-founder of talkingtoteens.com and host of the Talking to Teens podcast, a free weekly talk show for parents of teenagers.</p> </div></div></div> Mon, 15 Jul 2019 17:18:09 +0000 Andy-Earle 51418 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/andy-earle/the-ultimate-guide-to-teen-slang#comments