Sarah Moore's blog https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarah-moore en Playful Parenting: A Powerful Parenting Tool https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarah-moore/playful-parenting-a-powerful-parenting-tool <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/playful-parenting.jpg" width="1000" height="667" alt="Playful Parentin" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>We’ve all been there – it’s time for our child to do whatever it is needs doing, but they dig in their heels and refuse. Sure, we could force them into whatever it is, but that would be neither gentle nor respectful. Plus, that’s stressful for us, too! Enter playful parenting to the rescue.</p> <p>Here are three common power struggles parents face and how we can use playful parenting to ease the tension – AND get the job done.</p> <p><strong>Brushing teeth</strong></p> <p>Your child is clamping down with a clear no-entry sign across their mouth. As it turns out, however, you’re not a toothbrush wielding parent; you’re an adventurous cave explorer. Their toothbrush is your flashlight and you’re there to explore the amazing stalactites and stalagmites in their cave. The combination of imagination and adventure works wonders!</p> <p><strong>Going potty</strong></p> <p>If your little one has trouble remembering to check in with their body, or rejects the idea when you suggest it, join their world of play. Are they playing dress-up? Roll out an imaginary red carpet for your prince or princess and march together to the royal, ahem, throne. Too busy driving cars? There’s a motor speedway they can follow right into the bathroom! Vroom, vroom…drive right in there together.</p> <p><strong>Cleaning up toys</strong></p> <p>You might see a room that looks like a hurricane just blew through, but your child sees those piles of toys as a world of possibilities. Too many baby dolls on the floor? Decorate a box with your child to make a nice “bed.” Help your little one pile those babies in there to “snuggle.” Crayons scattered across the kitchen floor? Grab a bag, call it the “Crayon-Eating Monster” and help your child “feed” it. Cleaning doesn’t have to be a struggle.</p> <p>Consent is Still Important in Playful Parenting</p> <h5>All this said, consent is important. If your child isn’t willing to play along with you, there’s great power in saying, “I’ll wait until you’re ready.” Validate their feelings with empathy and try again later. You might just find that the next time, with a playful parenting approach, things go much more smoothly.</h5> <p>Find more playful parenting ideas in the author’s <a href="https://dandelion-seeds.com/positive-parenting/playful-parenting/">original post</a>.</p> </div></div></div> Thu, 17 Sep 2020 16:23:54 +0000 Sarah Moore 51774 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarah-moore/playful-parenting-a-powerful-parenting-tool#comments 5 Great Ways to Feel Peaceful https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarah-moore/5-great-ways-to-feel-peaceful <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/screen-free-parenting.jpg" width="1000" height="667" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Many of us are pretty darn overwhelmed right now. We want ALL the information. And at the same time, we wish it would all just disappear. In the thick of it – for the sake of our mental wellbeing – we still need to find some semblance of self-care if we’re going to recognize ourselves on the other side of this surreal situation.</p> <p>While self-care might feel like an impossible task right now, here are five ways to do it. Right this moment, you can find some peace.</p> <p><strong>Stretch.</strong></p> <p>It’s almost impossible not to breathe deeply while you stretch. The combination of deep breaths and stretching stimulates receptors in the nervous system and decrease the production of stress hormones. Hold your stretching position for as long as you can. The more you can relax into it, the better. </p> <p><strong>Take a break from the screens.</strong></p> <p>It’s highly unlikely that anything urgent will appear in our newsfeed while we take an hour (or a day) offline. We’d be naïve to understand that screens are linked to anxiety and depression in kids but think they have no effect on us. The news will be here when you get back. Take a break and see what good comes from <a href="https://dandelion-seeds.com/positive-parenting/screen-free-parenting/">screen free parenting</a>.</p> <p><strong>Enjoy a small change of scenery.</strong></p> <p>Shake up what’s normal for your family. Eat dinner in the living room. “Camp” in each other’s bedrooms or swap beds for the night. Do whatever you need to, to get out of a funk and feel like you’re creating a safe emotional space. Even taking your laptop into the kitchen rather than the bedroom – or wherever you normally work – can give you a fresher perspective. Look out a different window.</p> <p><strong>Remember that playful parenting is your friend.</strong></p> <p>Playful parenting helps lighten the mood for everyone when people just aren’t getting along (or aren’t as well as we’d like). It’s an absolute win/win situation for you and your kids.</p> <p><strong>Lower your standards.</strong></p> <p>Two nights ago, I went to bed frustrated that my house wasn’t clean. I woke up stressed, still looking at the mess around me and wanting the clutter to just.go.away. It didn’t. I got really snippy with my family about it and no one was better for it. I spent most of the day repairing the emotional rupture I’d caused. The next night, I took another approach. I went to bed in a messier-than-usual house and told myself, “My house will still be messy when I wake up in the morning. I am going to sleep knowing this and I make peace with the mess.” You know what? I was a nicer person the next morning. I legitimately felt better with that attitude. I decided that with everything else going on, some clutter was not a big deal. Paradigm shift.</p> <p>This too shall pass. In the meantime, let go of worry about messy bedrooms, homework, and anything at all that feels permanent. It isn’t. Better days are surely ahead.</p> <p> </p> </div></div></div> Tue, 17 Mar 2020 20:31:52 +0000 Sarah Moore 51578 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarah-moore/5-great-ways-to-feel-peaceful#comments 10 Important Questions to Ask Before You Decide to be a Stay at Home Parent https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarahmoore/10-important-questions-to-ask-before-you-decide-to-be-a-stay-at-home-parent <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/stay-at-home-parent.jpg" width="1000" height="667" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>If you’ve been working outside the home for any length of time before having or adopting a child, the decision whether to be a stay-at-home parent can weigh heavily on your shoulders. Not only do you have to examine your own feelings about it, but you may also be receiving advice (solicited or unsolicited) from other family members and friends.</p> <p>Is there a single right or wrong choice? Oftentimes there isn’t a clear answer. Be it for personal, financial, or emotional reasons, many parents choose what feels “mostly right” for them. To do that, it's helpful to think through many of the questions that affect your decision, such as these:</p> <ol> <li>How stressful is your non-parenting job? How do you manage that stress? Can you leave it behind when you’re with your child (or children)?</li> <li>If you’re working outside the home, what can and will you be willing to do to form a <a href="https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/building-a-secure-attachment-bond-with-your-baby.htm">secure attachment</a> with your child when you’re together?</li> <li>What are the financial repercussions of your potential decision, not only short term, but also in terms of your (or your partner’s) retirement? It's helpful to do the math that shows the impact of the scenarios you're considering. Alternatively, discuss it with a competent financial advisor.</li> <li>Will you be more emotionally healthy at home with your child or at work?</li> <li>Are you an introvert or extrovert? Does this affect your decision in any way?</li> <li>How much involvement do you want in-laws, other family members, non-family caregivers, and friends to have with your baby?</li> <li>How would you feel 10, 20, or 30 years from now if you keep working outside the home and put your baby in childcare now? Does the quality of the care affect your feelings about this?</li> <li>Where do you feel your child will fare better long-term? Where will he or she thrive? (Research says children generally do fine either way.)</li> <li>Do you live in an area where, if you choose to be a stay-at-home parent, your child will have ample opportunities to socialize with other children as he or she grows? (Note that this is less important for a baby than it is for older children.)</li> <li>Does the choice you make today need to be permanent?</li> </ol> <p>It’s rare that the answer whether to be a stay at home parent is completely clear. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to this or almost any other parenting issue that comes up. If you can get to a feeling of at least “mostly right” one way or the other, go with it confidently. The rest works itself out, as things usually do.</p> <p>For more great questions to explore before you decide whether to be a stay at home parent, you can find a <a href="https://dandelion-seeds.com/positive-parenting/sahm/">comprehensive list here</a>.</p> <p> </p> </div></div></div> Thu, 05 Mar 2020 20:47:15 +0000 Sarah Moore 51573 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarahmoore/10-important-questions-to-ask-before-you-decide-to-be-a-stay-at-home-parent#comments Three Peaceful Ways to Get A Reluctant Child Out the Door https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarahmoore/three-peaceful-ways-to-get-a-reluctant-child-out-the-door <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/getting-ready-parenting.jpg" width="800" height="533" alt="girl getting ready" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>As adults, we’re used to <a href="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarahmoore/rethinking-productivity-as-a-parent">being productive</a>; doing things when we need to do them. Getting out the door with a child who doesn’t want to go when it’s time to leave the house, however, can be a real challenge. A child’s reluctance can really catch us off guard and can trigger all sorts of big feelings for us.</p> <p>Fortunately, there are several things parents can do to help ensure a timely departure—and without tears for anyone involved.</p> <p><strong>Make it playful.</strong></p> <p>Although I often shy away from competition, this is the one time I’ll offer a race. Who can put on shoes the fastest and touch the doorknob? For some kids (particularly highly sensitive ones), however, competition causes anxiety, so use it with caution.<br /> Would anyone like to hop to the door like a bunny? Roll across the rug to get there? Be carried and spun in circles? Sometimes a different mode of transportation is all kids need. </p> <p><strong>Give kids fair notice.</strong></p> <p>No one likes having to drop whatever they’re working on (in a child’s case, play is often their “work”) and move onto another event without warning. Suddenly preparing to leave the house can feel particularly jarring for kids. Whenever you can, give them time to wrap up what they’re doing, alerting them that when they’re done with that part of whatever-it-is, it’ll be time to go.</p> <p>If you’re crunched for time and aren’t able to let them decide when they’re ready, tell them when it’ll be time to go. If they’re too young to understand the clock, put it in practical terms for them. Example: “After the amount of time it would take to watch one cartoon, we’ll put away your crayons together.”</p> <p>Further, routines can make a huge difference. Sometimes, particularly for kids under seven, a visual chart that includes photos or drawings of each task that needs to happen before they leave the house can give them a sense of continuity. That way, it becomes less about “them versus you” and becomes about “What’s next on the chart?” This mentality helps foster partnership, and from there, greater likelihood of cooperation.</p> <p><strong>Work with your child’s strengths. </strong></p> <p>Is your child a morning person? See if you can schedule events for times he or she is likely to be happiest. </p> <p>Does your kid do better if you have plenty of connection time, play, and snuggling before you move onto practical tasks? Build in time for those things before you plan to leave the house. </p> <p>Is your child an introvert or an extrovert? As much as you can, tailor your activities and schedule for when and how your child is going to feel the most comfortable engaging with others.</p> <p>These tips were adapted from <a href="https://dandelion-seeds.com/positive-parenting/playful-parenting/">this post about playful parenting</a>. <br />  </p> </div></div></div> Tue, 04 Feb 2020 20:29:00 +0000 Sarah Moore 51546 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarahmoore/three-peaceful-ways-to-get-a-reluctant-child-out-the-door#comments Rethinking Productivity as a Parent https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarahmoore/rethinking-productivity-as-a-parent <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/productive-parent.jpg" width="1000" height="667" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Parents are really good at being productive. Some might say it’s our superpower.</p> <p>Someone hungry? We seemingly snap our fingers and have a snack ready.<br /> Need to be somewhere on time? Shoes magically appear at the door.<br /> Walk into a room and see a bunch of things that aren’t supposed to be out? We organize like wildfire.</p> <p>Our efficiency serves a great purpose; our brains have developed over the years to help us get stuff done. We meet deadlines this way; we feel order and purpose. </p> <p>While that’s helpful for, well, getting stuff done, it sometimes creates the unintended effect of damaging our understanding of---and therefore our connection with---our kids. Of course, that’s not what we’re trying to do when we just want to be productive. </p> <p>Now, we already know that being a <a href="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/node-for-cat3-video/how-to-find-your-parenting-style">helicopter parent</a>, a snowplow parent, or a tiger parent isn’t beneficial to our kids’ growth and development. When it comes to efficiency, however, blowing in and out of their activities like a tornado parent isn’t any better. </p> <p>By design, kids naturally move much more slowly than we do. Their brains aren’t wired for efficiency; they’re wired for learning. The part of the brain that handles organization and planning (the prefrontal cortex) doesn’t even fully develop until around age 25. </p> <p>So much of the world around them is new that it’s actually quite beneficial to them to go at a much more lackadaisical pace; to learn the finer points of how things work. After all, everything in life is still relatively new to them. Our adult brains can afford to take for granted most of the “little things” that they’re still learning.</p> <p>Remembering that, it behooves us to slow down a bit and see things from their perspective. Yes, yes – keep the snacks coming on time, and get where you need to go for your appointments. However, if you walk into a room and see a “mess,” remember that your child has put each item there intentionally. Get curious about what they’ve built; learn what different parts of the “mess” represent for them. There’s always so much more going on than it seems.</p> <p>In doing so, you’ll likely uncover castles of information about your child’s brain development and priorities. You’ll learn that they’re building; organizing; categorizing; engineering. They’re doing great things. And they very much want you to be a part of it. Find a balance for what needs to get done now versus what can wait. As much as you reasonably can, let your adult tasks take the backseat sometimes. </p> <p>Your focused presence shows your child that you care. You’re involved in their world. Once they’ve shown it to you, it won’t seem so tornado-like when you blow into the room. They’ll know you’re coming to understand them; to connect. Connected parenting builds a wonderful foundation for both of you. </p> <p>Sometimes being “unproductive” is the most productive thing you can do for your relationship with your child.  </p> </div></div></div> Thu, 23 Jan 2020 18:59:24 +0000 Sarah Moore 51537 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/blogs/sarahmoore/rethinking-productivity-as-a-parent#comments