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How to Stay Calm When You’re Upset with Your Child

How to Stay Calm When You’re Upset with Your Child

Many parents struggle with how to stay calm when they’re upset with their kids.

These tips can help when you feel your temper starting to rise.


How to Stay Calm:


Research, Learn and Practice Good Parenting Skills

Parenting is complicated, intense, ever-changing, and never-ending. You can’t expect to have all the answers without taking the time to be introspective, while also doing some research. No one is born with the skills that it takes to be a great parent. Treat it like any other important job and learn about how to be the best parent to your unique children.


Use “I” Statements Instead of “You” Statements

“You never do your chores!” “You always make such a mess!” These finger-pointing “you” statements can bring defensiveness and conflict. To dissipate the situation, try getting into the habit of using “I” statements. “I feel hurt when you promise to do the dishes, but then you forget.” “I feel frustrated when there are messes to clean up.” Using these types of statements will get you a much better response and protect the important parent-child relationship.


Talk Face-to-Face with Your Child

You can engage with your child more effectively if you approach him calmly, get down to his eye level, and talk in a clear, concise manner face-to-face. You will have your child’s full attention, and your child will be able to read your non-verbal communication signs, such as facial expression and body language. You will be better able to understand each other when communicating this way.


If you do these things, you’ll worry less about how to stay calm – because you’ll feel calm more often naturally.


These tips are adapted from Elizabeth Pantley's blog post


Elizabeth Pantley is the author of the bestselling book The No-Cry Sleep Solution and 8 other books in the No-Cry Solution series, which helps moms and dads through all key stages of parenting.

No-Cry Solution Series Author

Elizabeth Pantley is a parent educator, mother of four, and the author of the now-classic baby sleep book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution, as well as six other books in the series, including The No-Cry Separation Anxiety SolutionThe No-Cry Potty Training SolutionThe No-Cry Discipline Solution, The No-Cry Picky Eater Solution, plus other successful parenting books. She is known worldwide as the practical, reasonable voice of respectful parenting.