Kids in the House - Family & Relationships https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships en Looking At Your Child’s Behavior Through The Lens Of Temperament https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/toddler/behavior-and-discipline/looking-at-your-childs-behavior-through-the-lens-of-temperament <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/466348257_copy.jpg?itok=fB-d1rh8" width="507" height="338" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p><em>“Do you think my sons fearful approach to everything new is because of his age, the fact that he was adopted, or is it just his nature?  (18-month-old child)</em></p> <p><em>“My three year old’s high energy is hard for me. Will she always be so hyper?  My other daughter can sit and play by herself, but her sister wants my attention all of the time.”</em></p> <p>These are typical questions I hear from parents. Understanding a child’s temperament and normal growth and development are ways to make sense of behavioral issues, social interactions, preferences, and power struggles.</p> <p>“Temperament” is a person’s first and most natural way of responding. It’s the way we move in the world. It’s the “how” of behavior—for example, how adaptable, persistent, energetic, or intense a person is. Just as some children have curly hair and others have straight hair, some children are high-energy right from birth and want to climb and run non-stop, while others are happy to play with toys or watch you while you cook. Children come into the world with a style all their own, and as with developmental milestones, there’s a wide range of normal.</p> <p>In the 1950’s parents (especially mothers) were blamed for all behavior problems. The pioneers in temperament research, Dr’s Stella Chess and Alexander Thomas, were convinced that children had innate differences that played a key role in determining a child’s behavior. They knew competent and loving parents who had challenging children and they found that babies varied in their behavior and reactions to the world around them. Chess and Thomas defined these differences as nine temperament traits: sensitivity threshold, activity level, intensity of reaction, rhythmicity, adaptability, mood, approach/withdrawal, persistence, and distractibility.</p> <p>When I first learned about temperament I saw my children and myself in a new light. It was the missing piece of the puzzle, giving me a fresh understanding of difficulties I had when my expectations and demands didn’t fit well with my children’s style and needs.</p> <p>The mother who is worried about her 18-month old child, who is fearful, has good insight in to the possible causes. He’s probably slow-to-warm up and may also be sensitive and slow adapting to new things. His age and developmental stage fit’s with his fearfulness since we know that at 18 months many children are afraid of things that they were neutral about in the past. They’re learning so much each day, they’re becoming more independent, and they have to integrate their new experiences with their view of the world. Sometimes children need mom, dad, or a caregiver to be close at hand so they can come back to a safe lap and refuel. The fact that this child was adopted might play a part in his cautious approach to things, or it could be the other factors. Sometimes we just don’t know, but need to follow our intuition and respond with all of our understanding. It’s important to be sensitive to the challenges children face when they’ve been adopted, while keeping in mind that a child’s normal temperament can have significant impact on their behavior.</p> <p>There are many factors that influence your child’s behavior—including parenting style, environment, genetic makeup, past events, and siblings. Temperament is a key part of the equation. In the earlier example of the child who is high energy and demands attention, chances are she is also intense, and because her mother is used to her older child who is different, she still hasn’t adjusted to having a “spirited child.” At all stages of development active and intense children need creative outlets for their energy and often want someone around for company. They love attention and interaction, and can be draining for a parent who is lower in energy, stressed, or desires a calm and quite environment.</p> <p>There are no good or bad temperaments, but some children have temperaments that may be more challenging than others for you.  So much depends on your own temperament, and how well you and your child fit with each other. </p> <p><span style="font-size: 13.0080003738403px; line-height: 1.538em;">For example:</span></p> <p>• Your high-energy daughter wants you to play ball with her when she wakes up, but you have lower energy and want to read the paper. Her high energy gets on your nerves, even though it’s normal for her.</p> <p>        o Set a routine for how long you will read and help her decide what she’ll do till it’s time to play with you.</p> <p>• Your son is slow to warm up, and when you go to a friend’s house he wants to sit on your lap. You’re outgoing, and it’s hard for you to tolerate his caution.</p> <p>        o  Give him time to get comfortable, and then he’ll be more likely to play with the other children once he’s checked out the situation.<br />• You’re fast adapting, high intensity, and yell easily. Your child is low intensity, sensitive, and slow to adapt.</p> <p>        o Do your best to lower your voice and calm down before you react to difficulties getting dressed in the morning. Take three deep breaths before responding, and use a timer so everyone will know when it’s time to move on.</p> <p><span style="font-size: 13.0080003738403px; line-height: 1.538em;">Strategies for addressing temperament can be as simple as providing fun activities and chores to keep high-energy kids busy, giving plenty of transition warnings to kids who adapt slowly, and making sure spirited kids get all the healthy food and sleep they need.  Parenting strategies also include making time for yourself, paying attention to your needs, and getting help from the “village” around you.</span></p> <p>Keep thinking about your children’s strengths, and help them find things they’re passionate about. Often you won’t know if a behavior is because of in-born traits, environmental factors, developmental stages, or past experiences.</p> <p>See it as a puzzle with many pieces, and when you put them together you get a picture of a child who is complex and beautiful. If you’re concerned about milestones in development, research the wide range of normal development, and talk to your child’s doctor.</p> <p>This article was originally published in the September 2011 issue of the Golden Gate Mothers Group Magazine, S.F. California.</p> <p>Rona Renner, RN (“Nurse Rona”) has been a nurse for 46 years, a parent educator for 26 years, is the mother of four grown children, grandparent of two  She’s available for temperament consultations and parent coaching in person or by phone and can be reached at Rona@NurseRona.com. To learn more go to <a href="http://www.NurseRona.com">www.NurseRon<span style="font-size: 13.0080003738403px; line-height: 1.538em;">a.com</span></a>.</p> </div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/toddler" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">TODDLER</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/toddler/behavior-and-discipline" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Behavior and Discipline</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/toddler/behavior-and-discipline/power-struggles" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Power Struggles</a> </li> </ul> </section> Tue, 17 Mar 2015 18:12:51 +0000 Visitor 48385 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/toddler/behavior-and-discipline/looking-at-your-childs-behavior-through-the-lens-of-temperament#comments Your Child's Emotional Bank Account https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/your-childs-emotional-bank-account <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/a0051066_0.jpg?itok=OcGjWoZd" width="600" height="337" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Stephen 
Covey, in his book,<em> The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People</em>, gives the analogy of relationships being like emotional bank accounts. He says that we, as parents, are constantly making credits/ deposits OR debits / withdrawals to our relational accounts by our words and actions.</p> <p>Let’s simplify this. We all understand
 how financial bank accounts work in the real world. Our accounts flourish when we regularly make deposits into them. They continue to grow, we feel safe, and we
have a security or financial cushion should something unexpected happen. On the
 flip side, our accounts can also quickly become depleted if we are only making withdrawals to the account. Taking and debiting from the account leaves the account balance low or worse yet, overdrawn.</p> <p>Now let’s see how this concept applies to our children. I’ve asked the question hundreds
of times to my clients, “What are some ways we debit our accounts with our children?” Their answers include, but are not limited to: yelling, threatening, not listening, spanking, punishing, breaking promises, name calling, bribing, nagging, lying, coaxing, bossing, blaming, ridiculing, using sarcasm, criticizing, lecturing, moralizing, judging, harassing, humiliating, being rude, withholding love, teasing, talking behind backs, using a disrespectful tone of voice and the list goes on and on. Most parents don’t seem to have any problem coming up with debits. What kind of impact will this kind of communication - day in and day out - have on the balance of your child’s emotional bank account?</p> <p>In contrast, parents usually have a much more difficult time coming up with ways they credit their accounts with their children. That list includes items such as: hugging, kissing, saying “I love you”, spending time together, listening, giving choices, and then the list usually comes to a halt. My clients and I are both usually surprised that the debits roll off our tongues so much easier than do the credits. Additional things you can do to credit your child’s account include: active listening, show gratitude and appreciation, apologize, empathize, forgive, be kind but firm, acknowledge, effort, validate, affirm, show respect with words and actions, set limits and follow through, encourage, brainstorm solutions together, keep your promises, be honest, show trust, ask using manners, be helpful, teach, compliment, recognize, show loyalty, build connection, play together, and love unconditionally.</p> <p>So, fast forwarding.....what do you think happens if you’ve been doing a lot of debiting 
to your child’s account lately, and then you ask your child to get in his car seat, or set the table, or do her homework, or unload the dishwasher? Most likely, you will not get the cooperation you want. All human beings, children and adults alike, have a need to feel loved, understood, valuable, important, listened to, validated, and
a sense of belonging. If your child’s emotional bank account is low and they are not feeling those items mentioned above, the chances are high that the child will become uncooperative.</p> <p>On the other side, what do you think happens if you’ve been doing a lot of consistent crediting to your child’s account lately, and you happen to have had a bad day at work and then you blow it with your child by yelling at him? Do you think they’ll forgive you, cut you some slack, and give you a free pass? YES! It won’t be such a big deal because the emotional account has been growing and is full. Even if you make a mistake, as all of us do, the “emotional reserves” will compensate for it.</p> <p>One of the biggest problems in many family cultures is the reactive tendency to continually make withdrawals instead of deposits. We do it without even realizing it sometimes, despite even the best intentions. Next time your child is misbehaving, ask yourself, “How is my account with my child? Is it full or overdrawn?” You can make deposits any time by proactively doing things that build the relationship. The balance in the account determines how well you can communicate and solve problems with the other person. The BONUS: this analogy works with all relationships ~ spouses, siblings, coworkers! Crediting not only makes the other person feel good, it will make you feel good too!</p> </div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">ALL PARENTS</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/consequences-and-rewards" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Consequences and Rewards</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/communicating-with-children" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Bonding and Communication</a> </li> </ul> </section> Tue, 09 Jul 2013 18:14:43 +0000 WebAdminKith 33911 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/your-childs-emotional-bank-account#comments Let's Talk About Men, Mothers, and Monogamy https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/family-life/lets-talk-about-men-mothers-and-monogamy <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/keeping_love_alive.jpg?itok=_dX-tYBN" width="600" height="400" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p><span style="line-height: 1.538em;">Some people wonder why I am obsessed with human relationships, why I ravenously consume all the latest research on love, sex, and marriage. Some wonder if my motivation is to change men or help people have better sex lives. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, while I think adults are lovely people who certainly deserve to exchange care and commitment with each other, my motivation runs much deeper. I care about children. Period.</span></p> <p>I believe the innocent lives that are spawned by our mating patterns deserve to be invested in by the two people responsible for their birth. But when a baby makes a debut in a co-habitation relationship, a dating relationship or, god forbid, a hook up, the statistics aren’t good.</p> <p>We live in an era where sex is cheap, commitment is scarce and the number of single mothers grows every day. Fueled by celebrities with uber budgets who nanny-up and trick young women into thinking single motherhood is a glamorous cake-walk and a baby the latest accessory, too many young women face a different reality. Single mothers have worst mental and physical health than married mothers and their kids have worse outcomes in terms of grades, at risk behavior and earlier onset of sexual behavior. Even children that pop up in commitment-lite marriage (co-habitation) face the reality that most will be left with only one parent before they reach the age of twelve. Children who are produced by unhappily married couples have better chances than those raised by single parents.</p> <p>And I laugh at how adults justify their taste for sex over gene supervision with the idea that somehow this is natural, that our hunter/gatherer ancestors were orgy loving, seed spreading, hook-up artists and single parents were the norm. In fact, if that were the case, our species would never have survived! In our ancestral past, there was plenty of monogamy. It may not have always been til-death-do-us-part monogamy, but it was certainly long enough to get children safely up and out of the nest. We are the species that requires the longest period of in arms care and longest term of brain development. Most other species are up and running with the pack within hours. But humans don’t join the village until the age of five and not permanently for another decade and a half.</p> <p>Many women today instinctively know this and are desperately trying to find a guy to commit in the shrinking fertility window between education, a career jump-start and the demise of their eggs. Our current American birthrate is now below replacement. This means big economic consequences for the country. Too many dependant adults at the top and too few tax paying wage earners are a prescription for social ills. One in five women are losing the freedom to mother because they can’t get a guy to commit on time or because they believe the marketing myths of fertility clinics that tell women they can have a baby until age fifty. The height of female fertility hasn’t changed since our hunter/gatherer ancestor women so carefully selected a mate — it is the age of twenty.</p> <p>The answer of course is two-fold: More cultural support for single parents and the practice of slow-love (delaying the onset of the sexual relationship) in order to create emotional intimacy that evolved as the glue for relationships. Love can conquer all. But only if love is allowed to grow.</p> </div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">ALL PARENTS</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/family-life" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family Life</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/family-life/single-parents" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Single Parents</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/partnerships-and-marriage" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Partnerships and Marriage</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/partnerships-and-marriage/family-planning" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family Planning</a> </li> </ul> </section> Fri, 28 Jun 2013 16:19:59 +0000 WebAdminKith 32751 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/family-life/lets-talk-about-men-mothers-and-monogamy#comments How to Tell When Your Child is Lying https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/teen/parenting-teens/how-to-tell-when-your-child-is-lying <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/lying.jpg?itok=qrO81vHw" width="600" height="424" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>How do you know when your child or teen is telling you the truth? Being able to decipher truth from fiction is incredibly important for parents.</p> <p>After studying human lie-detection and then implementing the principles while working with thousands of teens, parents and families, I wanted to give a few pointers for adults, teachers and parents.</p> <p>The clues below are some of the statistical signs of deceit -- meaning they most often show up in people who are lying. Lie detection and body language is a complex science, but I have simplified it here for immediate application. If you want to dig deeper into the science, I lay out the entire method in my book, <em>Human Lie Detection and Body Language 101.</em></p> <p>The most important thing to remember about lie detection is that one clue alone does not guarantee lying -- if you see some of the clues listed below, it is simply a red flag to get more information.</p> <p><strong>1. Verbal Nuance</strong></p> <p>If the timing is off between gestures and words, lying or hidden emotions are most likely lurking. For example, if your teenager is talking about how angry they are about something, but their facial expression is one of sadness or neutrality, they are most likely forcing the emotion even though they do not feel it. Verbal nuance can also show up as a delayed reaction to the emotion. They might say, "Yeah, I am angry about it," pause and then display an angry expression. This is not genuine emotion because their words are not matching their expressions.</p> <p><strong>2. Relief</strong></p> <p>A liar almost always shows great relief when the subject is changed. If you are talking to your teen about an issue you are suspicious of and then move on from the topic, notice their reaction. If they show great relief or a total change in behavior, they were most likely tense or hiding something.</p> <p><strong>3. Fear vs. Surprise</strong></p> <p>In my presentations and articles on nonverbal behavior, I often reference microexpressions. A microexpression is a brief, involuntary facial expression that is shown on the face of humans according to the emotions that are being experienced. Unlike regular prolonged facial expressions, it is difficult to fake a microexpression. They often occur as fast as 1/15 to 1/25 of a second. There are seven universal microexpressions: disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise and contempt. In terms of lying, I believe that fear and surprise are the most important ones for parents to recognize. After all, if you ask your child, "Did you know about the cheating incident at school?" A fearful microexpression will tell you something very different than if they look surprised.</p> <p>Surprise:</p> <ul> <li>The brows are raised and curved</li> <li>Skin below the brow is stretched</li> <li>Horizontal wrinkles across the forehead</li> <li>Eyelids are opened, white of the eye showing above and below</li> <li>Jaw drops open and teeth are parted but there is not tension or stretching of the mouth</li> </ul> <p>Fear:</p> <ul> <li>Brows are raised and drawn together, usually in a flat line</li> <li>Wrinkles in the forehead are in the center between the brows, not across</li> <li>Upper eyelid is raised, but the lower lid is tense and drawn up</li> <li>Upper eye has white showing, but not the lower white</li> <li>Mouth is open and lips are slightly tensed or stretched and drawn back</li> </ul> <p><strong>4. Verbal Clues</strong></p> <p>If you are speaking with your child and they begin responding to an accusation by offering a belief in general instead of the specific instance (i.e. 'Do you smoke pot?' 'I believe pot is dangerous') they are subconsciously avoiding answering the question. They also might add in additional details until you believe them to fill silences. Liars often use phrases like "to tell you the truth," "to be perfectly honest," and "why would I lie to you?" Another clue to deceit is when teenagers have answers that sound extremely rehearsed, even if it is about a casual event.</p> <p>Lying is a very natural, yet dangerous occurrence. Unfortunately it is part of growing up, but parents need to be aware of teens lying habits to keep them safe. I share these tips and hope they will be used in the right circumstance.</p> <p><strong>To find out more about Vanessa's work, visit: RadicalParenting.com. </strong></p> <p><em>References:</em></p> <p>Paul Ekman (1999). <em>Basic Emotions.</em> In T. Dalgleish and M. Power (Eds.). Handbook of Cognition and Emotion. Sussex, U.K.: John Wiley &amp; Sons, Ltd.<br />"The lie detective: San Francisco psychologist has made a science of reading facial expressions" by Julian Guthrie, <em>San Francisco Chronicle</em>, Monday, September 16, 2002.<br />Book: <em>Why Kids Lie: How Parents Can Encourage Truthfulness</em></p> </div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/teenager" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">TEEN</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/teenager/parenting-teens" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting Teens</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/teenager/parenting-teens/talking-with-your-teen" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Talking with Teens</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/teenager/parenting-teens/defiance-and-back-talk" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Defiance and Back Talk</a> </li> </ul> </section> Tue, 25 Jun 2013 22:41:28 +0000 WebAdminKith 32571 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/teen/parenting-teens/how-to-tell-when-your-child-is-lying#comments The Whole-Brain Child: How to Raise One https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/the-whole-brain-child-how-to-raise-one <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/danielsiegel.jpg?itok=UGYeZVcz" width="600" height="480" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p> </p> <p>Nothing's better than when your kids are in a good mood. When they're easy-going and happy, everything seems to run smoothly. They are flexible and cooperative when plans change, and even laugh at themselves when they make a mistake. In moments like these, parenting can be fun and pretty easy.</p> <p>But we all know there are times when children can be biting and sensitive, and fall apart when something doesn’t go just right. WHY WON’T THIS LEGO PIECE CLICK IN?!! In these moments, when our kids dig their heels in and go to battle over every minor issue, parenting can feel like a chore.</p> <p>What explains these emotional ups and downs in our kids? Believe it or not, a lot of it has to do with the many parts of their brain. The left side of the brain helps you think logically and organize thoughts into sentences, while the right side helps you experience emotions and read nonverbal cues. We each have a “reptile brain” that allows us to act instinctively and make split-second survival decisions, and a “mammal brain” that leads us toward connection and relationships. One part of your brain is devoted to dealing with memory; another to making moral and ethical decisions. It’s almost as if your brain has multiple personalities—some rational, some irrational; some reflective, some reactive. No wonder we can seem like different people at different times!</p> <p>Biology could be to blame for these mood swings. The key to helping our kids be flexible and adaptive and thoughtful and all the other things we want them to be, is to help integrate these parts of the brain so they work well together as a coordinated whole—a whole brain. When all of the parts of your kid's brain work together like a well-oiled machine, emotions are easier to control.</p> <p>When your child isn’t working from an integrated whole brain, he becomes overwhelmed by his emotions, confused and chaotic. Tantrums, meltdowns, aggression, and most of the other challenging experiences of parenting—and life—are a result of a loss of integration, also known as “disintegration.” In other words, these problems occur when your little one isn't (and when we ourselves aren't) using his whole brain.</p> <p>As parents, how can we help our children become better integrated so they can use their whole brain in a coordinated way? Here are a few suggestions:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Connect and Redirect.</strong> When your child is melting down or blowing up emotionally, avoid immediately appealing to his logic. Saying,“Why are you acting this way? I don’t have any snacks in the car” is problematic because it addresses an emotional, right-brain problem using rational, left-brain logic. Instead, connect first emotionally—right brain to right brain. By telling him, “I can tell that you’re really disappointed about the snacks” in a soothing tone of voice, you acknowledge his feelings in a calm manner. Then, once he is more in control and receptive, redirect by bringing in the left-brain lessons and, if necessary, setting some boundaries.</li> </ul> <p> </p> <ul> <li><strong>Name It to Tame It. </strong>When a scary or painful experience produces big, out-of-control emotions, don’t dismiss and deny them. Instead, help him tell the story of what happened. Telling a story helps his left brain make sense of all of those unfamiliar emotions that his right brain is experiencing, and this will help him to feel more in control. Storytelling allows both sides of the brain to work together, preventing disintegration.</li> </ul> <p> </p> <ul> <li><strong>Engage, Don't Enrage.</strong> In high-stress situations, engage your child’s upstairs brain, which is where his higher-order thinking takes place. Rather than triggering the more primitive and reactive downstairs brain with the “Because I said so!” card, ask questions, collaborate, and even negotiate. The more you can appeal to the upstairs brain and engage him in critical thinking and processing, the more your child will think and act and decide, rather than simply reacting to what he's feeling. </li> </ul> <p> </p> <ul> <li><strong>Get Active.</strong> If your child loses touch with his upstairs brain, help him regain balance by having him move his body. Doing a few jumping jacks or running around the yard can directly affect his brain chemistry. Exercise allows him to work through some of his emotions in a healthy way, allowing him to focus on other things afterward. When we change our physical state—through movement or relaxation, for example—we can change our emotional state. </li> </ul> <p>These tips offer the possibility not only of surviving difficult parenting moments, but of actually turning them into times you can help your child thrive by tapping in to his whole brain. Survive and thrive. It really can happen, when you're raising a whole-brain child.</p> <p> </p> <p><em>This article originally appeared in </em>Education.com<em> on October 19, 2011. Reprinted with permission of the author.</em></p> </div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">ALL PARENTS</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/parenting-styles" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting Styles</a> </li> </ul> </section> Wed, 19 Jun 2013 18:40:50 +0000 Jessica.KITH 32211 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/the-whole-brain-child-how-to-raise-one#comments What to Do About Your Teenagers Eye-roll https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/teen/parenting-teens/what-to-do-about-your-teenagers-eye-roll <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/t_v_headphones.jpg?itok=gpDo9nXb" width="600" height="338" alt="teendefiance" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>There's no simple prescription for getting rid of your teenager's defiant and rebellious behavior. With some hard work and determination, and the following tips, you can work with your teenager to help improve their overall disposition. Talking to other parents and getting support from experts can always be a valauble step for handling some tough family issues. If this great article doesn't cover everything you need to know, view more videos on the subject here: <a href="http://kidsinthehouse.com/teenager/parenting-teens/defiance-and-back-talk">http://bit.ly/2ahMTnZ</a>.</p> <p>If you are or have been the <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/parenting"><u>parent</u></a> of a teenager, or have ever spent more than a few hours with a teenager, especially when they are around their friends or parents, you are unfortunately familiar with the disdainful eye-roll. It is often associated with a dramatic sigh or utterances of perturbation. Often it comes after such parental comments as, “Don’t you think that skirt is too short?” or “Are your boxer shorts supposed to show above your pants?”</p> <p>I believe the eye-roll the equivalent of a door slam, either when there is no door available or because they have too many clothes piled on their bedroom floors to get the adequate propulsion needed for a dramatically reverberating doorway.</p> <p><a href="http://kidsinthehouse.com/teenager/parenting-teens/defiance-and-back-talk">Teen Rebellion</a></p> <p>When you get together with other parents of <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/adolescence"><u>teenagers</u></a>, you inevitably compare war stories. Teenagers are geniuses at doing things they know will irritate you. For example, if you like exercise, they lay around in bed. If you are hoping for a calm family dinner, they will grimace and drum their fingers while complaining about the meal. If you try to predict their mood and act accordingly, they will shift moods. If they do agree to your requests, they forget (their term) or ignore (your term) their promises.</p> <p>Teenagers resent unsolicited attention and advice. They strive to appear grown-up, independent, and self-sufficient. They need to feel capable of finding their way without parental direction. Help is perceived as interference, concern as babying, and advice as bossing.</p> <p>Teens challenge rules and values to establish their own <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/identity"><u>identity</u></a>. Teenage rebellion, be it in the form of objectionable hair styles, clothing, or music, messy rooms, or even drinking alcohol and telling lies, is their attempt to initiate separation. You loved your child all of his or her life, but most teens are so vulnerable that they repeatedly test you to prove your love.</p> <p>Dr. Anna <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/freud"><u>Freud</u></a> said that these teen behaviors are in their developmental “program” as they seek to free themselves from <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/child-development"><u>childhood</u></a> ties with parents, establish new identifications with peers, and find their own identities. THEY must make the successful transition from kids to young adults, but because along the way they will face life-and-death decisions,</p> <p>YOU must remain their guardian angel.  </p> <p>Why All The Turmoil?</p> <p>"It is normal for an adolescent to behave in an inconsistent and unpredictable manner. He can be more idealistic, artistic, generous, and unselfish than he will ever be again, but also the opposite: self-centered, egoistic, calculating." Anna Freud wrote this in 1958 and the words remain true today. Teenagers of each generation need to experiment with different identities before settling into their own adult <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/personality"><u>personality</u></a>.</p> <p>Living day-in-and-day-out with teenagers in the midst of their identity search is one of the greatest challenges you will confront. Yet endure it you must because it is this process of conflict and confrontation that enables them to move to their next stage of life. It is a great help if you understand that there is a purpose for all the turmoil. Defiance, in your teenager's mind and challenges to your love is their bumpy pathway to autonomy.</p> <p> Don’t Let Their Behaviors Push You Away</p> <p>What you can't do is to allow these behaviors to push you away. Tolerate restlessness, respect <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/loneliness"><u>loneliness</u></a>, and accept the discontent as part of the natural, but tumultuous, progression from child to adult. Let your child feel sure of your affection and respect. Be there in the background showing your confidence. By serving as an example while spending time with them will, your teens know you love them and that they are worthwhile.</p> <p>If you don't allow your children to express their <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/anger"><u>anger</u></a>, frustration, and depression these emotions can come out unconsciously as attempts to get back at you though failing in school, drinking, or other dangerous behavior. If you instead show that you respect them, you will prevent a rupture that can occur in your relationship at a time when maintaining connections is vital to the years immediately ahead.</p> <p>During this time of natural disorganization and hormonal upheaval, your teens are individuating from the family and developing their own values. Preservation of your own values and demonstration of your <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/religion"><u>faith</u></a> in their ability will provide tools for their success. If you choose your battles carefully and maintain your child’s respect for your important rules of sobriety and safety and for the values you have embraced throughout their lives, you’ll keep them on track.</p> <p> Listen Supportively - Don't Solve</p> <p>It is around the teen years when children stop asking the questions that were so abundant when they were younger starting with, “Where does the sun go at night?” Actually, they stop asking questions and volunteering much when we ask about their day at school or their social events, because they perceive that we are not really listening.</p> <p>The multitasking we did when they were younger, such as pay bills or fold laundry when they were asking questions or telling us all the details of their day, is ultimately interpreted as us not really listening…or caring about their questions or answers. By the time they are teens most of their voluntary conversation seems to be complaints.</p> <p>Sometimes silence about what is going on in their lives may be your teens’ way of protecting you from anxieties they feel you cannot handle. It is up to you to assure them that you are willing to talk, not just at them, but with them in a realistic manner.</p> <p>When your teen does open up to you with a problem, she will feel dismissed if you try to simplify her complex feelings and conflicts in your terms or with your experiences. Instead of giving what seems to you as <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/empathy"><u>understanding</u></a> and relating, resist saying, "I know exactly how you feel, I felt that way too at your age."</p> <p>Whether it is about her terrible best friend, the small size of her room, or the assignment of chores, rather than agree with, minimize, or attempt to solve the situation, resist that instinct. Simply listen attentively, sympathetically, and uncritically.</p> <p>Active Listening Acknowledges Their Words and Feelings</p> <p>First wait until they are finished speaking and then, before responding, repeat back what you believe they said…without emotion or judgment in your tone. “Okay, I think you are saying…” By repeating the gist of their statements you show you have listened well and you help them identify their feelings.</p> <p>Wait a bit, so they can confirm or correct your perception of their words. You can then offer you honest commiseration and understanding. If you don’t agree with her opinion or plans, you can keep communication open (and keep doors from slamming) if you acknowledge and reflect your teen’s feelings about something even without agreeing with her point of view. Influence her, not by telling her how she should be or act, but by encouraging her to develop self-reflection, morals, and values of her own. You’ll be demonstrating your respect while encouraging her to think further and find her own solutions.</p> <p>Be Direct - Don't Manipulate</p> <p>Because most parental criticism creates anger and resentment, be direct and avoid sarcasm. If your son does a poor job at washing the shared family car, you might be tempted to say, "I didn't know we had such hard water. I know you washed the car and it's still dirty."</p> <p>Consider that helpful criticism does not attack the person and arouse defiance; it deals with the difficult event. The direct alternative could be, "I appreciate your effort so far, but the car still needs more work, especially on the top and left side. When can you do it?” This will be more likely to elicit a less emotionally reactive, more positive response.</p> <p>Choose Your Battles: Be Flexible When You Can, but Consistent the Limits You Set</p> <p>As an adult your responsibility is to set standards and demonstrate values. Teenagers need to know what you respect and what you expect. Most teenagers, while demanding more independence, are at least in part, begging for structure. They rely on parents to set limits, especially to contain their more reckless impulses. Your goal is not to be your teenager's pal but rather his or her friendly guardian, concerned and strong enough to endure temporary animosity when you uphold standards and values that are in their best interests.</p> <p>Don’t be frustrated when your child opposes your standards, resists your rules, and tests your limits. Part of developing one’s identity is testing limits. They should not be expected to like your prohibitions. Since you are better able to control your emotions, anticipate you teen’s resentment of rules. Limits should be set in a manner that preserves your teenager's self-respect. When your limits are neither arbitrary nor capricious, and are anchored in values aimed at character building, your child will eventually recognize that you had his best interests in mind.</p> <p>It will also reduce resistance if you distinguish between your teen’s <em>feeling</em> and <em>actions</em>. As with the active listening, be permissive when dealing with your child’s feelings and wishes. Then, when you are strict in dealing with unacceptable behavior and enforcing limits, you have shown that you respect his opinions and attitudes, acknowledged his <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/dreaming"><u>dreams</u></a> and desires, but reserved the right to stop and redirect some of his actions.</p> <p>As teens seek more privileges, freedom, money, or privacy parents, ever vigilant, worry about the possibility of falling grades, <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/addiction"><u>substance abuse</u></a>, or increased sexual activity that could potentially follow if they acquiesce to these requests. Rather than let your anxieties force you to become overly restrictive, be flexible when you can. By giving teenagers choices you make them more aware of their power <em>AND</em> responsibility. In turn, the sense of control they feel over part of their destiny gives them more opportunities to consider alternatives and build self-confidence.</p> <p>For example, if you are open to some of their unusual choices in clothes, teens will be that much less likely to get into power struggles over the big-ticket items such as <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/psychopharmacology"><u>drugs</u></a> and alcohol. The more control you allow your teens over their choices, the more likely they are to become confident adults who, when they run into a problem will see what their options are and make a decision based on what they think is best.</p> <p>Give teens responsibilities to also let them know that adult privileges are earned by taking part in the daily functioning of the family (chores). Be specific about the phone, car, and money, being a result of these contributions. Find ways to allow for them to make choices within certain parameters. For example, dishes need to be done by 8pm. They can be done earlier. However, if they are not done by that time, the privilege of phone conversation will be revoked for the remainder of that evening.</p> <p>Be ready to react neutrally to cries of 'injustice' when your child suffers the inevitable consequences you have described to him. Maintain a matter-of-fact tone and your stance that it is not a <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/punishment"><u>punishment</u></a>, but a consequence of his choice. The message you’ll be sending is that he is part of a family with certain required responsibilities. During the teenage developmental stage of self-engrossment, establishing areas of responsibility helps them learn that freedom is grounded in accountability.</p> <p> Bring Out Your Teen’s Best for Now and Later</p> <p>I once was told by a professor that, “A teenager learns what he lives, and becomes what she experiences.” When you are an active listener and limit your preaching and passing of judgments, you’ll elicit conversations where your teen shares her opinions and emotions and become more self-reflective. When you allow your teens to make some decisions you know aren’t great, but that won’t be dangerous or hurtful, you build their self-awareness. They will learn from their mistakes and take ownership of their successes.</p> <p>When you model the values you hope for in your children, respond with more positive and direct responses, and avoid sarcasm, you’ll be promoting their positivity and commendable values of their own. When you provide opportunities for challenge with the support they need to learn from setbacks, teens build confidence to develop <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/self-esteem"><u>self-esteem</u></a> from successes. Help your teenagers build <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/resilience"><u>resilience</u></a> and perseverance and they will leave home with the power to transform obstacles into opportunities for growth and learning.</p> </div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/teenager" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">TEEN</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/teenager/parenting-teens" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting Teens</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/teenager/parenting-teens/defiance-and-back-talk" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Defiance and Back Talk</a> </li> </ul> </section> Wed, 27 Jul 2016 19:51:58 +0000 WebAdminKith 36281 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/teen/parenting-teens/what-to-do-about-your-teenagers-eye-roll#comments EMPATHY: Stepping Into A Revolution https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/empathy-stepping-into-a-revolution <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/screen_shot_2015-02-25_at_11.49.04_am.png?itok=38k06QrV" width="600" height="380" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Empathy is the ability to step into the shoes of another person, aiming to understand their feelings and perspectives, and to use that understanding to guide our actions. Roman Krznaric has started an EMPATHY REVOLUTION to help everyone understand each other better. Join us on Thursday, March 5th, at 12:30pm PST for our #KITHangout&nbsp; where you can learn how to raise an empathic child!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Lws5xst-XrY" width="560"></iframe></p></div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">ALL PARENTS</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/building-self-esteem" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Building Self-Esteem</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/parenting-styles" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting Styles</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/motivation-and-praise" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Motivation and Praise</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/resilience" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Resilience and Problem Solving</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/communicating-with-children" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Bonding and Communication</a> </li> </ul> </section> Wed, 25 Feb 2015 19:53:29 +0000 Visitor 48339 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/empathy-stepping-into-a-revolution#comments TWIN TALK: Multiple Answers For Your Multiples Questions https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/twin-talk-multiple-answers-for-your-multiples-questions <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/twin_hangout2.png?itok=NrZ2zy4j" width="562" height="329" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p style="text-align: center;">Having one baby is hard, but having two babies seems even more overwhelming! Join us on February 3rd at 1:30pm PST for our TWIN TALK! We will be joined by psychologist Joan Friedman and blogger Gina Osher who are ready to share their wisdom on raising twins!</p><p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/UnKZI-iFFmI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">ALL PARENTS</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/parenting/parenting-styles" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Parenting Styles</a> </li> </ul> </section> Tue, 27 Jan 2015 22:59:53 +0000 Visitor 48155 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/twin-talk-multiple-answers-for-your-multiples-questions#comments Ali Landry's Advice on Celebrating Valentine's Day as a Family https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/family-life/ali-landrys-advice-on-celebrating-valentines-day-as-a-family <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Ali Landry interviewed with Kids In The House and shared her thoughts on how to spread love throughout your family on Valentine&#39;s Day!</strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong></p><p>&nbsp;<!-- Start of Brightcove Player --> <div style="display:none"> </div> <!-- By use of this code snippet, I agree to the Brightcove Publisher T and C found at https://accounts.brightcove.com/en/terms-and-conditions/. --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://admin.brightcove.com/js/BrightcoveExperiences.js"></script> <object id="myExperience4021413312001" class="BrightcoveExperience"> <param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /> <param name="width" value="577" /> <param name="height" value="376" /> <param name="playerID" value="1691789211001" /> <param name="playerKey" value="AQ~~,AAABM-VRYqE~,LzoKrsWwczc7zEsWZseW907lRwLWjtoo" /> <param name="isVid" value="true" /> <param name="dynamicStreaming" value="true" /> <param name="@videoPlayer" value="4021413312001" /> </object> <!-- This script tag will cause the Brightcove Players defined above it to be created as soon as the line is read by the browser. If you wish to have the player instantiated only after the rest of the HTML is processed and the page load is complete, remove the line. --> <script type="text/javascript">brightcove.createExperiences();</script> <!-- End of Brightcove Player --></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Ali Landry shares tips for celebrating Valentine&#39;s Day as a <a href="/all-parents/family-life" title="Family Life">family</a>. Ali Landry is an actress, <a href="/search/site/mompreneur" title="Mompreneur">mompreneur</a>, mother of three and co-founder of the app Favored.by. Valentine&#39;s Day is a great time to show your family members how much you love them. Whether you are making them cookies or writing them notes of how much you love them, these <a href="http://www.kidsinthehouse.com/playlist/must-see-all-parents-videos?id=6609#playvid/6609" title="Parenting Tips">simple tips</a> can show your children how much they mean to you. Showing them love will help build their <a href="http://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/parenting/building-self-esteem" title="Build Self Esteem for Kids">self-esteem</a> and help them recognize their own self-worth! We encourage families everywhere to share the love this Valentine&#39;s Day!</strong></p><p style="text-align: center;">&nbsp;</p></div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">ALL PARENTS</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/family-life" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family Life</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/family-life/family-time" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family Time</a> </li> </ul> </section> Mon, 26 Jan 2015 22:06:52 +0000 Visitor 48151 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/family-life/ali-landrys-advice-on-celebrating-valentines-day-as-a-family#comments LIFE QUESTIONS 101: Guiding Your Child Through Their Spiritual Journey https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/values-and-beliefs/life-questions-101-guiding-your-child-through-their-spiritual-journey <div class="field field-name-field-article-image field-type-image field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><img typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-725w/public/spirituality_hangout.png?itok=iIX21bIS" width="549" height="404" alt="" /></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p style="text-align: center;">What is my purpose? What happens after death? Kids In The House will be hosting a Google Hangout &quot;LIFE QUESTIONS 101:&nbsp;Guiding Your Child Through Their Spiritual Journey&quot; on January 27th at 1:30pm PST to help parents answer these important questions. Experts will be ready to answer your questions live from different spiritual perspectives and will help you teach your family good values. We will be joined by Rabbi Sherre Hirsch, Reverend Jimmy Bartz, and Executive Director of CareNet Pregnancy Centers Candy Gibbs!</p><p><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/HkDE7NV5m2A" width="640"></iframe></p></div></div></div><section class="field field-name-field-article-categories field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Article Categories:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/articles/parenting-advice-on-family-relationships" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Family &amp; Relationships</a> </li> </ul> </section> <section class="field field-name-field-video-category field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-above clearfix"> <h2 class="field-label">Category:&nbsp;</h2> <ul class="field-items"> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">ALL PARENTS</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/values-and-beliefs" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Values and Beliefs</a> </li> <li class="field-item even"> <a href="/all-parents/values-and-beliefs/religion-and-spirituality" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Religion and Spirituality</a> </li> <li class="field-item odd"> <a href="/all-parents/values-and-beliefs/values" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Values</a> </li> </ul> </section> Tue, 20 Jan 2015 22:44:19 +0000 Visitor 48142 at https://www.kidsinthehouse.com https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/values-and-beliefs/life-questions-101-guiding-your-child-through-their-spiritual-journey#comments