Freedom with balance

Clinical Psychologist Jerry Weichman, PhD, shares advice for parents on how to find the balance between giving your teenage child too much freedom and being too controlling
Advice For Parenting Teens - How To Balance Freedom and Control
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Freedom with balance

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Can too much feedom backfire with your adolescent? Absolutely. I think that what´s appropriate for parents at this stage in development is for them to identify where the balance is. I think that there is a lot of helicopter parents out there hovering around their kids that are really micromanaging them. And that creates a lot of stress not just between the teen and their parent but in the entire family system. I think what parents need to really do is enforce the boundaries because what teens ultimately need is the freedom to navigate their life because this is how they are going to figure out what life is really about and how to navigate it for themselves. But they need the boundaries. An example, if a kid is going to a party, what a parent should say is look, you can go to a party. You just need to be able to let us know where you are going. You need to respond to us if we call you or text you. You are ready to go or home on time. And you are coming home sober. And if you can do that, you can do what you want between that.

Clinical Psychologist Jerry Weichman, PhD, shares advice for parents on how to find the balance between giving your teenage child too much freedom and being too controlling

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Jerry Weichman, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Jerry Weichman is a licensed psychologist and adolescent specialist as well as an author, speaker and parenting expert. His clinical practice at Hoag Hospital's Neurosciences Institute in Newport Beach, California provides a window on contemporary teen and pre-teen behavior.

“Dr. Jerry” as his adolescent patients call him, is a young PhD who really relates to teens, speaks their lingo and has felt their pain. Author of the teen survival guide, How to Deal, and noted media expert on teen issues, Dr. Jerry is focused on helping teens cope with parents, teachers, friends and academic pressure, communicating with them in a way they understand to help successfully navigate the dramas and pressures of adolescence.

Dr. Jerry's popular speeches, lectures and seminars have presented assemblies of students, teachers, parents and administrators with practical approaches on how today’s teens can overcome the trials and tribulations of growing up, from coping with bullying to meeting parental academic expectations to walking away from drugs and other self-destructive behaviors. Jerry also sits on the board of directors for the Bullying Prevention Initiative of California and just recently sat on an expert panel for a screening of the documentary Bully.

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Transcription: 
Can too much feedom backfire with your adolescent? Absolutely. I think that what´s appropriate for parents at this stage in development is for them to identify where the balance is. I think that there is a lot of helicopter parents out there hovering around their kids that are really micromanaging them. And that creates a lot of stress not just between the teen and their parent but in the entire family system. I think what parents need to really do is enforce the boundaries because what teens ultimately need is the freedom to navigate their life because this is how they are going to figure out what life is really about and how to navigate it for themselves. But they need the boundaries. An example, if a kid is going to a party, what a parent should say is look, you can go to a party. You just need to be able to let us know where you are going. You need to respond to us if we call you or text you. You are ready to go or home on time. And you are coming home sober. And if you can do that, you can do what you want between that.