The best way you can help your partner understand what life is like for you now as a stay-at-home mom is to make sure you're giving your partner plenty of opportunities to be totally on with the baby by him or herself, so that your partner can develop that competence and find his or her own style. Be careful not to micro-manage and make critical comments when your partner does things differently from the way you would. But I do suggest that you set them up for success by telling them what soothing strategies you're using that have been helpful for you or what schedule you've been using. But then get out of the house and make sure they can have their own time to figure it out together. The more opportunities your partner has to do this, the more empathy they'll have for you because they'll know how hard it really is, and the stronger the bond will be with your children. Everybody wins.