Solutions for Sleep Problems

What is the most successful sleep training method?

If you look at the science, the science says, it's extinction. Put the baby in when it's awake. Leave the room. They'll cry, of course. Don't go in all night long. The problem with that, is well, sometimes it doesn't work. Most of the parents that I work with can't do it. It breaks their heart. And so they go in, and they start being inconsistent. And they cause more problems.

What helps are routines and rituals that the baby comes to expect, that are quiet and calming and settling and soothing. Good night rituals, good night stories, with soft voices and dim lights that really signals to the baby: This is the time when we relax and get ready to go to sleep.

You go through your whole nighttime routine. You bathe them. You feed them. You change them. You sing to them. Reading to children, the rhythm of your voice, the sound of your voice, you pray with them. You turn the lights down, and you have that wonderful, tender moment with your baby. But before they actually fall dead asleep in your arms, you put the baby down. You depart the ... Read more

room. It may be your bedroom. But you go out in the living room, or whatever. They're gonna cry. They're gonna cry, and I let a five-month-old baby cry for three minutes, maybe five minutes. Short time. So I tell moms, "Pick up your baby. Hold your baby. Comfort them. Calm them down again.  Then, before they fall asleep in your arms, you, again, put them into the crib. I'd let them cry three to five minutes, three times in a row. Then I extend it to 7 to 10 minutes.  Do that three times in a row. Then I go 12 to 15 thereafter. By four to five days, they'll figure it out and learn how to fall asleep with no drama.