How to know if your child is at an appropriate party

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How to know if your child is at an appropriate party

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One of the most proactive, powerful things parents can do for kids to protect them from drugs and alcohol is to check out the appropriateness and safety of parties their kids want to attend. At a minimum, your kid owes you the name, address and phone number of the parents of the host holding the party. At a minimum, they also owe their child a phone call to those people. When you call the parents up who are hosting the party, you have to ask a specific list of questions. The first one to ask is do you know about the party. If the answer is party, that is a no. You cannot go to that party. The parents don´t even know they are having the party at their house. Next questions include the location, the start time, the end time. You also have to ask some harder questions. Will you be allowing the presence of drugs and alcohol? Will there be an adequate number of chaperons present for the size of the group? Will you be allowing exit and entry more than one time? Party 101 says when you enter a party as a teenager, if you leave, you need to go away. You cannot have teenagers coming in and out of teenage parties. It does not work out well at all. And lastly, are you willing to call 911 if the party gets crashed or if things spiral out of control? These are really hard questions to ask, especially if you don´t know the parent very well that you are asking them of, and you have to be ready for some really negative reactions to these questions. But if you want the full story, you have to ask the questions. When you drive your kid to the party and drop them off, you also should go in and introduce yourself to the host parent. Look around and see what you see. If you do not feel comfortable in that situation, there is probably a reason. Before you leave, you might want to take one more pass at reminding your child about your use policies and also your policy about being in the present of use. Finally, if you are not picking your kid up at the party, provide them with a code word that will allow them to access you if it gets out of control and also when they come home, meet them at the door and have that five minute conversation.

See Jonathan Scott's video on How to know if your child is at an appropriate party...

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Jonathan Scott

Drug Prevention Speaker, Author & Dad

Miles to Go educators, Jonathan and Kelly are professional speakers, writers and parents who specialize in drug prevention education for students, teachers and parents. Working from their base in Southern California, they have spent the past 17 years lecturing in the private school community using humor, science and multi-sensory teaching techniques to simplify a complex subject. Their first book, Not All Kids Do Drugs came out in 2010 and their second The Mother’s Checklist of Drug Prevention in 2011. Their third book, Where’s The Party was published in 2012.

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Transcription: 
One of the most proactive, powerful things parents can do for kids to protect them from drugs and alcohol is to check out the appropriateness and safety of parties their kids want to attend. At a minimum, your kid owes you the name, address and phone number of the parents of the host holding the party. At a minimum, they also owe their child a phone call to those people. When you call the parents up who are hosting the party, you have to ask a specific list of questions. The first one to ask is do you know about the party. If the answer is party, that is a no. You cannot go to that party. The parents don´t even know they are having the party at their house. Next questions include the location, the start time, the end time. You also have to ask some harder questions. Will you be allowing the presence of drugs and alcohol? Will there be an adequate number of chaperons present for the size of the group? Will you be allowing exit and entry more than one time? Party 101 says when you enter a party as a teenager, if you leave, you need to go away. You cannot have teenagers coming in and out of teenage parties. It does not work out well at all. And lastly, are you willing to call 911 if the party gets crashed or if things spiral out of control? These are really hard questions to ask, especially if you don´t know the parent very well that you are asking them of, and you have to be ready for some really negative reactions to these questions. But if you want the full story, you have to ask the questions. When you drive your kid to the party and drop them off, you also should go in and introduce yourself to the host parent. Look around and see what you see. If you do not feel comfortable in that situation, there is probably a reason. Before you leave, you might want to take one more pass at reminding your child about your use policies and also your policy about being in the present of use. Finally, if you are not picking your kid up at the party, provide them with a code word that will allow them to access you if it gets out of control and also when they come home, meet them at the door and have that five minute conversation.