When kids start asking questions about their adoption

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When kids start asking questions about their adoption

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When your child starts asking questions about their adoption, I have an intervention that I've created out of my intervention book. One of them is called, "My question box." "My Question Box," is an intervention tactic, that is a container that can hold all these questions. The child has a question, they write it on a piece of paper, and they put it in the box. What this container holds, the question, acknowledges the question, but we are not giving answers, we are just keeping the questions in the box. This also serves as a stalling tactic for the adoptive parent. Typically, when a child asks a question, the parent feels obliged to answer it in that moment, which can be more damaging. This stalling tactic provides the parent with the question asked, gives them an opportunity to prepare the answer with a professional, their partner, their significant other, so child can hear the answer in a respectful, honest, and non-threatening way; and know the truth.

Watch Jeanette Yoffe, MA, MFT's video on When kids start asking questions about their adoption...

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Jeanette Yoffe, MA, MFT

Adoption & Family Therapist

Jeanette Yoffe earned her master's degree in Clinical Psychology, specializing in children, from Antioch University. She treats children with serious psychological problems secondary to histories of abuse, neglect, and or multiple placements. Jeanette's desire to become a child therapist with a special focus on adopted and foster care issues derived from her own experience of being adopted and moving through the foster care system. She runs a monthly support group called Adopt Salon for all members of the adoption triad in Los Angeles.

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Transcription: 
When your child starts asking questions about their adoption, I have an intervention that I've created out of my intervention book. One of them is called, "My question box." "My Question Box," is an intervention tactic, that is a container that can hold all these questions. The child has a question, they write it on a piece of paper, and they put it in the box. What this container holds, the question, acknowledges the question, but we are not giving answers, we are just keeping the questions in the box. This also serves as a stalling tactic for the adoptive parent. Typically, when a child asks a question, the parent feels obliged to answer it in that moment, which can be more damaging. This stalling tactic provides the parent with the question asked, gives them an opportunity to prepare the answer with a professional, their partner, their significant other, so child can hear the answer in a respectful, honest, and non-threatening way; and know the truth.