Learning from Mistakes

How to Recover after Losing it with your Kid

You know what. I'm gonna take all your toys and I'm gonna give 'em to the poor. You're never going to school again. Why don't you listen to me? Why doesn't anybody ever listen to me? Any of us can flips our lids as parents. So taking a break as a parent, taking a deep breath, keeping in the front of your mind that actually the changes in the adolescent brain require that they push away from us, can help you to calm down, to bring your brain back into balance, to think about how you're gonna approach a repair. Because you are still the parent and you are the one responsible for initiating repair. I'm gonna make sure I approach them. Just say you know, this has been really painful. It's been hard for me and I'd like to make a reconnection with you whenever that's a good time for you. Now that may be a few minutes. It maybe a few hours. It can even be a day. But doing it as soon as possible is really helpful 'cause no one feels good when there's such a rupture. Listen deeply to what the adolescent has to say. That even after there's a ... Read more