When the bio-mom is present, special occasions like Mother's Day can definitely be a little bit tricky. After all, it's natural to want acknowledgement and to be appreciated. That's what the holiday is built for. It's always a reminder of what your role isn't. You are not mom. No matter how much you put in; you are not mom, you are step-mom. This used to bother me terribly, for years, especially because I'm a custodial step-mom. But eventually, I got to the point where I began to appreciate their mom and the life that she's given them, because it's a life that I get to participate in. So Mother's Day is reserved for her, happily. I'll acknowledge it too. Then a few weeks later, we get to celebrate me. We have a day called OOM's Day, Other Mother's Day. Every year, I'm just overwhelmed at how much love and gratitude my kids show me.