Parents are among the first people to greet their newborn as they come into the world, developing a connection that will last a lifetime with every hug and whisper. Although it’s not always possible to be the perfect parent, tight-knit families are there for each other: most of the time, kids only need you to show up and be present. If you’re looking for ways to strengthen your parent-child bond, try these six simple habits.
Enjoy Your Meals Together
Kids love all of the undivided attention. Make sure they take centre stage more than once a day and sit down to breakfast and dinner together when everybody is home. As they wolf down another delicious meal, encourage your child to talk about their day, from what they loved and who they’re sitting with, to academic challenges or persistent problems. Sure, some kids won’t be forthcoming straight away, but if you model open communication and family problem solving, they’re more likely to open up! Kids need to feel loved and secure to talk about little niggles and serious issues alike, so make emotional wellbeing a family priority while taking the pressure off around the dinner table.
Inside Tip: Set your distractions aside (no TV and phones allowed), and include your kids in the whole dinner process, from meal-prepping, setting the table to doing the dishes afterwards. It will give them a sense of importance and responsibility.
Show Understanding And Affection - Always
Our kids are like emotional sponges! Even if they don’t understand adult lingo, they’ll definitely pick up on our feelings and expressions, down to copying us in their own social interactions.
Try to establish the following habits when your kids are around:
Show patience
It can be easy for our emotions to get the best of us, even in front of our kiddos. While showing a range of feelings can be healthy, lashing out at others or our children is a big no-no. Remember, kids are pint sized people with watchful eyes and big emotions - they’re learning everything they need to know about self-regulation, conflict and communication from you. So if you deal with anger, sadness, disappointment or frustration in a damaging way, they will internalise your behaviour as constructive, bringing it to their future relationships, including the one they’ll have with you when they grow up. Instead of giving into snap reactions, sit them down and discuss behavioural expectations - and remember to listen as much as you talk!
Give your undivided attention
Kids can have problems. Big, unspoken problems they don’t know how to deal with, so they’re counting on someone to help them through - someone precisely like you!
Don’t diminish their issues if they ask to talk - while your kid may not understand the pressures of bills, work and adult life, they are learning about peers, relationships, themselves and a host of other things grown-ups take for granted. Be available. If they come to you, put your phone down, switch off the TV or stop working overtime - everything else can wait.
Bring Love ‘To The Table’
And we don’t only mean saying those three magic words as often as you can! Affection and human touch are very important to kids when growing up. It’s actually proven to positively influence a happy and healthy neurobiological development. Treat every interaction as a valuable opportunity to connect and bond with your small ones, making it as goofy, loving and playful as you possibly can.
...but establish and boundaries
The relationship your kid has with you is the first and the most important one in their life. As much as love and affection are on the forefront of this relationship, a firm hand is needed as well. Your kids need guidance and structure as they grow and deal with life. Sit down together and outline age-appropriate rules and boundaries, taking their input into account. When the rules get broken (and they surely will), they should know about the consequences. Again, moderation is key - make them aware of their wrong actions, but don’t go too far, especially at a younger age when they’re still exploring reactions, boundaries and what’s okay or not okay.
Play Often, Play Well
Games and play-time is so incredibly important! Games, fun and play are essential for brain development, creativity, motor skills and so much more.
Encourage outside play
Spending time outdoors every day should be encouraged! Children are naturally curious, and playing outside will further spark that curiosity. Sticks, leaves, dirt, trees, breeze, animals and more, these small miracles our adult eyes often ignore may be wondrous to a child! On the flip side, it will also build resilient knees, hands and heads, even though some tears are bound to happen.
...and let the magic inside
You’re never too old for games! When it’s raining or the family is fighting off a low-energy day, break out a few family toys and board games, build a pillow fort, throw a goofy dance-off and let the fun times begin! Grown-ups tend to take ourselves too seriously sometimes.
Play a Family Classic
Time to get the popcorn poppin’ and throw blankets on the couch! Introduce a family movie night bonanza once or twice a month and plan the marathon with your family. Ask for favourite movies, cartoons, TV shows or documentaries and snuggle in together to laugh, cry and smile.
If you’ve set up a consistent bed schedule, movie night is the right time to be flexible. Don’t do it on a school night, so you have plenty of time to sleep in the next morning, and extend the whole experience into a lazy, late breakfast.
Ease Them Into Sleep
Bedtime is an excellent opportunity to bond with your child as you can help them feel emotionally secure and loved. Ease your kids into routine tasks such as brushing teeth, taking a shower, or introducing toilet training; establishing these routines will be very handy later on! Don’t forget a bedtime story. Regular family reading improves literacy levels, builds healthy parent-child attachment and develops their imaginations! Have dedicated shelf space for children’s books, and let them choose which one they’d like to hear before bed.
[Extra tip]
If they like the same story over and over again, ask them to ‘read it’ to you, filling in the gaps when they get stuck.
What if you’re short on time? Bedtime stories aren’t the only way to bond before settling down to sleep. Take a few minutes to lay with your child, talking about anything and everything that comes to mind. End things with a little song and a kiss goodnight.
Being a parent is always challenging. As your kids grow, it’s natural to worry about your parent-child relationship weakening or falling away. It’s also natural to be worried about whether you’re doing the right things, knowing how much your relationship can influence their character and life later on. But really, kids are relatively simple - they require patience, support and love. Provided you have those three things to spare, everything will be okay.
About the Author:
Kate Gunn
Marketing Assistant at Myer
Kate has over a decade of fashion experience, covering everything from catwalk looks to cost-effective catalogues. When she isn't writing about clothes, Kate loves watching bad rom-coms and relaxing with her loved ones.
