If you have multiple children or if you have siblings yourself, the chances are you are very much familiar with sibling rivalry. Indeed, children often compete against each other over so many things, and who better to compete against than your own brother or sister? True, for you as a parent, this rivalry can be quite a challenge (to put it mildly), but the truth is that it can also be incredibly valuable for your children’s development. It can be an opportunity for you to step in and show them how a conflict is managed, so let’s take a closer look at this issue, shall we?
Why do siblings fight?
There can be plenty of reasons for a fight to erupt between siblings. However, you don’t have to be worried that every fight is going to hurt their relationship. On the contrary, it can benefit them because it can set clear boundaries between what goes and what doesn’t.
Attention is a very common cause of conflict between siblings, especially if you’re in a household where both parents have full-time jobs and spend relatively little time at home. It’s a way for them to draw attention to themselves. Additionally, it may also be a way for the younger (in most cases, but not always) sibling to gain attention and approval of the older one. In those cases, the sibling looking for attention simply doesn’t know how to approach their brother/sister, and this eventually leads to conflict.
We said already that sibling rivalry is sometimes about setting boundaries. In some cases, they are simply exploring how far they can go before the other side reacts. Also, children will go through a phase in which rules are extremely rigid for them, and they do not allow any wiggle room in their interpretation. Naturally, this will eventually bring them into conflict with their sibling(s). MindChamps Centre in Warriewood is particularly good at dealing with this sort of thing.
Situations like these, in which nobody is getting physically hurt on purpose, are actually quite normal and a sign of a healthy upbringing. It also shows you that they feel comfortable showing their feelings in your home and that they consider it a safe environment, which is something very important.
So, do they have to compete over everything?
As you can see, there are many potential reasons for a fight between siblings to break out. However, there are ways to manage those conflicts and reduce their frequency, eventually eliminating them altogether. So, while you can expect to see your kids bicker and tease each other, they will eventually learn to sort things out. MindChamps child care centres help this process along perfectly and their methods are an excellent example of how this issue should be approached.
Keep in mind, though, that in many cases you don’t need to intervene at all. They can figure out how to resolve the conflict on their own. Besides, if you get involved and punish someone, they could start being resentful, especially if you punish one more than the other.
If, on the other hand, you do decide to intervene, make sure that the rules are well-known to everyone. They need to be clearly established in order for children to have a sense of fairness. However, your priority should be to teach them how to compromise and negotiate. During that process, always acknowledge the feelings of all parties involved and give everyone a chance to make their case. If they can’t reach a solution on their own, only then should you go with your own proposal.
Do remember that children need to have things that they can call their own and that they shouldn’t be forced to share. Each child is unique, and this will help them express that uniqueness. Dedicate some time to each sibling individually to show them that.
Conclusion
As you can see, managing sibling rivalry requires a nuanced approach, but the conflicts can also be great learning opportunities concerning a variety of issues, primarily the art of negotiation and compromise. But you do not have to step in every time trouble arises, just monitor the situation and only step in if you see it escalating.
Remember that while it’s important to hold everyone to the same standard, each child is unique and has to be able to feel that. So, give them time where they are the object of all the attention and they will be much happier for it. And the fights won’t be as common.
