Addiction is a disease that affects loved ones in every way. It not only impacts the lives of those who struggle with it, but also their friends, family members, and even children. There are many different types of addictions and many types of coping mechanisms when it comes to loved ones dealing with addiction issues. This article will help you navigate through some ways to cope with addiction in your own life or in other people's lives.
Love vs. Acceptance
We all want our family to be perfect. In the same way that we have a desire for our kids to be perfect, we also have a tendency to expect the same from our parents and other family members. But it's important to remember that nobody is perfect, including you. You can love some as they are, while not accepting their behaviors as okay. This becomes tricky in some family dynamics where people are constantly trying to appease the difficult member of the family.
The key thing here is balance. While it may seem counterintuitive at first glance, finding a balance between love and acceptance requires self-reflection and honesty with yourself about whether it's possible for the relationship to continue as it is or if more boundaries need to be put in place. Acceptance of the situation may require recognizing that your loved one needs heroin treatment in San Antonio or they need alcohol treatment in Dallas. And instead of ignoring or placating them, you choose healthy boundaries that might give them the motivation to get treatment for their addiction.
From the Outside Looking In
It's important to note that you may not be able to fully understand the situation, but you can still offer support in the form of listening, love, and patience. It's likely that your loved one will be angry and defensive when he or she is first confronted with their addiction—this is normal. Your loved one might lash out at you or others when they recognize their own problem. They might even push away from you as a way of dealing with shame, guilt, and fear about recovery.
In addition to being there for your loved one during this difficult time, it's important that you learn how to deal with any emotions related specifically to yourself. Anger, frustration and disappointment are all common responses when someone close struggles with substance abuse or other forms of dependency.
Learning to Let Go
Learning to let go is the first step in helping yourself heal from the pain caused by your loved one's addiction. Acceptance is extremely important. You need to accept that your loved one has a problem, and you can't control or change them. It's not your job to try and fix them or rescue them from their addiction. It will only make things worse for both of you if you try to make the person happy by giving in to their demands, no matter how much they beg or plead with you.
The Wounds Run Deep
When you are a member of an addict's family, it's important to understand that the wounds run deep. Addiction is a disease and not something that can be "gotten over." While your loved one may have gone through treatment and seemingly been doing better for a while, it doesn't mean they've passed the test and moved on from their addiction. Addicts need constant support and guidance when it comes to staying sober; otherwise, falling back into their old patterns will become inevitable.
Telling Yourself it's Not Your Fault
It is not your fault. It is not your responsibility to cure them or help them overcome their addiction. You can’t control someone else’s actions. You did not cause the addiction and you cannot solve it for them. While this may be hard to accept at first, the more you remind yourself of these facts, the quicker you will find a sense of peace and calm in your own life.
How to Cope With Addictions of Loved Ones
If you're dealing with the addiction of a loved one, there are some important things to keep in mind. Remember that it's not your fault — you can't control what other people do. It helps to talk about it with a therapist or close friend and seek professional help for yourself if needed. You may want to write down how you feel and how long the addiction has been going on.
