At some point in our lives, there comes a moment when we realize that our parents rely on us much more than we rely on them. And as they continue to grow old and become frail, you might find yourself doing the parenting job now. As strange and frustrating as it might seem, one day, you’ll need to start making decisions regarding their future.
It might be a very sensitive topic for discussion. For many older adults losing their independence is one of the common fears. You will have to be patient and compassionate when discussing your mutual plans for their future, and – to be fair – there’s a lot to discuss.
Below, we share several things to consider during such family conversations. Apart from researching aging care and housing options, you will also need to assess your parents’ financial situation, understand their needs, complete medical planning, and consider your own needs and abilities when it comes to taking care of them.
Continue reading to learn more about how to plan your parents’ future in the best way possible.
Research Aging Care Options in Your Area
If you are the only one who is taking care of your parents, or if both of your parents’ need special attention, you might have to consider moving them into a retirement home or an assisted living facility. These long-term care centers are designed to provide senior citizens with the necessary care, including medical treatment, companionship, and social engagement. At the same time, many of these facilities try to keep people as independent as possible.
Other options include hiring a live-in carer, an excellent solution for those who want to keep living in their homes and remain close to their loved ones, and health care agencies. Not only should you research this option, but you should also visit live-in care in your community and talk to the employees to get firsthand information about their services, pricing, and qualifications of the staff. Most importantly, you should meet with the directors of these facilities to discuss your parents’ needs and desires. Only after you have found out everything, you will be able to make an informed decision regarding the best ageing care option for your family.
Financial Planning
It is essential to assess your parents’ financial situation before deciding on their living arrangements. If you don’t have enough money to pay for their ageing care or senior housing, you might need to consider other options, such as moving them into a retirement community or selling their house.
To assess your parent’s financial situation, you can ask them to submit their tax returns from recent years and determine what kind of income they have earned and how much it is possible for them to save. You should also learn about any assets they have – including real estate, retirement accounts, and life insurance policies – as well as their debts.
Knowing all these details will help you determine your parents’ needs and possibilities. Ideally, you should have a financial plan that will be able to safely cover all their expenses for the rest of their lives. However, if you don’t have enough money to care for your elderly parents, then you may have to consider selling their assets.
Medical Planning
It’s not uncommon for older adults to remain healthy and active enough to keep living on their own without much trouble. However, if your parents’ healthcare needs have increased with age, you might want to consider moving them into an assisted living facility or a nursing home. But no matter what kind of care your parents need, there are several things that should be taken into consideration when discussing their situation.
First and foremost, you should make a list of all the medications your parents take so that the doctors can adjust the treatment accordingly and assess their capabilities. Besides that, you also need to list all your parents’ health conditions, such as hearing or vision problems, chronic illnesses, past injuries, or mental disorders. All these can affect the way your parents receive medical treatment, how they deal with life in general, as well as how it may change in the future.
It’s not unusual for people to develop mental issues with age, finding it challenging to adjust to new environments or changes that come with time naturally. In some cases, it’s enough for a person to attend therapy sessions and/or take medications. The same goes for any other conditions – some are more manageable than others.
However, there are situations, especially when a parent has dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, when it would be wise to consider placing them in a specialized facility, as they can pose a threat to themselves or others.
Consider Your Own Needs
While caring for your elderly parents is essential, it can take an emotional toll on you. This is why it is essential to think about how much time and energy you are able to spend on caring for them and how it might affect you personally.
For example, if you work full-time and have a family, you might not be able to spend enough time with your parents. In such cases, hiring a live-in carer might be a good option. However, if you live close enough, you can also consider taking shifts with your siblings or children. Moreover, if you can manage on a daily basis but need breaks from time to time, consider hiring a short-term caregiver who will be able to help out while you’re away.
And, of course, if you don’t live nearby or can’t spend enough time taking care of your parents, you should think about finding a suitable facility. While they might not be enthusiastic about the idea at first, make sure not to get impatient. Discuss it with them, and present all the possibilities such a facility offers; you can also visit it together.
Final Thoughts
Planning for your parents’ future is one of the most challenging tasks you will ever face in your life. But once you have done it, you will feel much more confident and relaxed knowing that you did everything in your power to help your parents live as long as possible in the comfort and peace of their own home.
However, if you can’t provide them with the life they deserve, it would be best if you discussed the idea of moving them into an assisted living facility or a nursing home. If your parents don’t want to move, you may consider selling their house and buying a smaller one in a retirement community. That way, they will get all the support they need without having to pay the hefty price of a full-time live-in caregiver.
