Being an involved dad when you don't live with your kids
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John Badalament, EdM Author and Educator, shares advice for divorced dads on how to best stay involved in your kids' lives when you don't live with them
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For dads that don't live in the home with their child, have partial custody, are live-away dads, there are a couple things that are really important to keep in mind. The first thing is that so many dads fall into believing what I call the myth of not mattering, that because there's distance between the child and the father, that somehow they're not important. And it's really critical, especially in the teen years when kids are naturally pushing away, it's really important to remember that you always matter. And you can do your best to stay connected and important to your child's life. And that can be difficult, but it's really important that you make sure your child knows that you're there. That might be setting up time to talk on the phone or video chat or sending letters; there's all kinds of ways you can stay connected, and also knowing what's going on in their life is important. The second thing is that dads who aren't in the home or live away from their child, the most important thing is that they have a healthy, non-conflict or minimal-conflict relationship with the mother. The relationship between the mother and the father is so important, that a child doesn't deal with either parent talking badly about the other parent; it's just poison. And I say it to parents that are separated or divorced, anything bad that you say about each other, the child hears that as being about them. Just simply put. So those things are really important for dads who don't live in the home and have partial custody or are live-away dads.
John Badalament, EdM Author and Educator, shares advice for divorced dads on how to best stay involved in your kids' lives when you don't live with them
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John Badalament, EdMAuthor & Educator
John Badalament, EdM, is the author of the acclaimed Modern Dad’s Dilemma: How To Stay Connected with Your Kids in a Rapidly Changing World and Director of the PBS documentary All Men Are Sons: Exploring The Legacy of Fatherhood. His work has been featured on ABC News, NPR, in Men’s Health, Pregnancy, The Los AngelesTimes, and on HuffingtonPost.com. He serves on the Honorary Board of the Ties Never Broken Campaign, a partnership with The White House. John is a Harvard-trained educator who speaks internationally to schools, parent groups and organizations.
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