It's natural to be concerned about independence because that's the ultimate agenda of development. That's what we need to remember. All the developmental processes are yearning to become viable as a human being. Our job is not to push independence, in fact, independence cannot be pushed. The more we push it, the more the child is alarmed and panicked and transfers their dependence to another. It's paradoxical. We need to be able to meet their dependency needs. The problem is, that from the 1960's and 70's, a myth became a part of the parenting literature, totally ignorant to the developmental process. This myth was never do anything for a child that they could or would do for themselves, because if you did it, you only reinforce their dependence and they wouldn't become their own individual persons. In actual fact, the opposite is true. The research shows that when we are generous about providing for their dependency needs, when we invite dependence, they are preoccupied with doing it themselves. It's all paradoxical. Our job, as parents, is to be able to fulfill their attachment needs, their need for love, closeness, belonging, significance. To be generous about meeting their needs of dependency, it's natures job, in the amygdala, the command system of the limbic system, and move them forward to become their own persons. We need not be concerned about this. If we do our job, nature will do its.