As parents, we often feel pressure to set the right kinds of limits with our kids. Knowing exactly how we need to discipline them in order to help them learn and develop can be an overwhelming responsibility. We often feel guilty that we may be doing it wrong. This overwhelming pressure can lead us to start yelling at our kids in frustration. However, there are better ways we can communicate with our kids and Kids In The House experts can help you deal with the problems you face on a daily basis.
Neuropsychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel explains that a commonly asked by parents how they can stop getting so angry with their children. Siegel responds, “Be kind to yourself because it's human to flip out." As parents, we need to forgive ourselves for making mistakes and then learn from them. As we understand ourselves better, we can develop more patience for the things that are frustrating us. When we figure out what those things are, we can make sure we have time to process our feelings when they happen. By reconnecting with ourselves we will be better able to cope with the pressure and frustrations we experience.
Dealing with toddlers can be especially daunting if they start throwing tantrums. Parent Educator Betsy Brown Braun advises parents to let the tantrums run their course. She explains that it is important for parents to remain close to their children so they feel safe and secure, but that it is not a good time to negotiate and talk with them about the problem. Once you see them calming down, then go to them and give them a big hug. At this time, you can talk calmly with them about how the tantrum didn’t help them and how there are better ways to fix the problem. Psychotherapist Dr. Tina Bryson also discourages parents from putting their children in time-out because it is not an effective way to help them understand how to behave better. She shares with parents that they should “give them practice doing things the right way” as this will also help you to better connect with your children.
Another age group that can be especially hard to discipline is teenagers. As parents, it’s important to set boundaries and allow teenagers to make choices for themselves. Developing the balance to do that can be difficult. Teen expert Josh Shipp explains that when teenagers are rebelling, they are often trying to see how far they can push the boundaries. Shipp encourages parents that when this happens it is the parents’ responsibility to “hold the boundaries.” These boundaries and privileges should be discussed with your teenager and should not be changed no matter how much they fight back. By holding your ground, your teenager will feel more secure and will respect you more.
Do you still have questions on how to discipline your kids? Tina Bryson and Dan Siegel, authors of No Drama Discipline, will be joining us on December 2nd at 1:00pm PST for a Google Hangout, “Discipline Discussion: Calming the Chaos.” They will be ready to answer your questions in a live Q&A discussion. Click here to RSVP.
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