How discipline affects resilience

Therapist & Author Robert Brooks, PhD, shares advice for parents on how to effectively discipline your children in a way that teaches them to be resilient
How Discipline Affects Resiliency In Children - Kids In The House
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How discipline affects resilience

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One of the most important responsibilities a parent has is to be a disciplinarian but many parents have to remember the word discipline stems from the word disciple. It is a teaching process. And it is very fascinating to find that research shows there are three main kinds of discipline styles, only one of which really leads kids to be resilient. One style they call the authoritarian. That is the parent who says you do it because I am your mother or father. They often yell. They spank. And there is very little discussion. And it is called authoritarian. Another is permissive. That is the parent who for whatever reason does not set consequences. And so the children really rule the roost. The sad thing there is I have worked with guys who grow up in very permissive homes who basically feel the parent did not love them as much. One adolscent girl actually said to me once if my parents loved me, they would have set some limits. We have to remember kids really need limits. The third discipline style is what they call the authoritative, not the authoritarian, the authoritative parent. That parent sets firm limits, does not get into a lot of negotiation, but they do is. They realize one of the most important tasks is to develop self-discipline. And so, what they will do is say things to the child like it is your choice. If you do not put your toys away, they will not be hear tomorrow. The basic message to the child is you are making choices that lead to certain consequences. What this does is to develop self-discipline in their child, which means basically ownership over your own rules. And that style goes most along with being resilient.

Therapist & Author Robert Brooks, PhD, shares advice for parents on how to effectively discipline your children in a way that teaches them to be resilient

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Robert Brooks, PhD

Therapist & Author

Dr. Robert Brooks is a psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School.  He has lectured nationally and internationally and written extensively about the themes of resilience, parenting, family relationships, school climate, and balancing our personal and professional lives. He is the author or co-author of 15 books and has also appeared in several videos pertaining to helping children to become more responsible, self-disciplined, hopeful, and resilient.

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