Effective consequences and discipline for kids

Robert Brooks, PhD Therapist and Author, shares advice for parents the most effective forms of discipline and consequences to use with children
Most Effective Discipline And Consequences For Children
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Effective consequences and discipline for kids

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There are many ways of using consequences, but one of the things I have found could be most helpful is – especially if you have a child who’s somewhat oppositional, but for almost any child is – parents should look at what they have control over, what they can withhold say from a child rather than asking a child to do something as a consequence. For example, to tell a child who is somewhat oppositional to go to his or her room – many kids will say, “Make me.” And so, at that point, what is the parent going to do? One mother actually would drag her kid into the room, but it wasn’t very helpful. But if the parent could look at, “Okay, what is it that I have control over?” What I have control over is I could withdraw certain privileges. I can say, “You know, if you act this way, you will not have the car this weekend, or you’ll have to stay in, or you’ll not have certain toys to play with,” then you’re much more in control, but you’re not being controlling. What you’re helping the child do is develop self-discipline. They start to learn, “Hey, there are consequences to my behavior and my parents really have some say over these consequences.” And what children slowly also learn is, “I better start understanding what my behavior is and why it leads to certain consequences.” And this is what we call self-discipline.

Robert Brooks, PhD Therapist and Author, shares advice for parents the most effective forms of discipline and consequences to use with children

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Robert Brooks, PhD

Therapist & Author

Dr. Robert Brooks is a psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School.  He has lectured nationally and internationally and written extensively about the themes of resilience, parenting, family relationships, school climate, and balancing our personal and professional lives. He is the author or co-author of 15 books and has also appeared in several videos pertaining to helping children to become more responsible, self-disciplined, hopeful, and resilient.

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