Talking to kids about death

Child Therapist Douglas Green, MFT, shares advice for parents on the best way to talk to kids about death in a way that they will understand and not be frightened by
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Talking to kids about death

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How do you talk to kids about when someone dies? If you have a faith, a belief system, a religion that tells you what happens when we die or what happens afterwards; that's great. You should give that to your child. It will help, but a child's first concern is for their own safety. They are going to have two big questions: Am I going to die? Am I going to be abandoned in my life by anybody else dying? You need to sit down with them and tell them the truth. That means, on one hand, yes, everybody dies and it can be sudden and shocking. But also, most likely, it's not going to happen for a very long time. While you are doing this, you might start to realize that you have a tendency to pull away because of the discomfort of this topic. You don't want to do that. Stay there with them. Help them express themselves. Anything that helps them. If you are there for them, they will get to where it's not such a huge issue for them. They will make sense of it, just like everybody does over time.

Child Therapist Douglas Green, MFT, shares advice for parents on the best way to talk to kids about death in a way that they will understand and not be frightened by

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Douglas Green, MFT

Child Therapist

Douglas Green left a successful career as a writer and director of film, stage and television to become a Psychotherapist, specializing in helping children and teenagers live lives they can be proud of.  He has a degree in Drama Therapy, and uses creative active techniques often in his work.  He has extensive experience in working with numerous childhood issues, such as ADHD, autism, Asperger's, depression, anxiety, and recovery from physical, sexual, and emotional Abuse.  He works at two offices, one in Woodland Hills, CA and one in West Los Angeles, CA, and is an Adjunct Professor at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

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Transcription: 
How do you talk to kids about when someone dies? If you have a faith, a belief system, a religion that tells you what happens when we die or what happens afterwards; that's great. You should give that to your child. It will help, but a child's first concern is for their own safety. They are going to have two big questions: Am I going to die? Am I going to be abandoned in my life by anybody else dying? You need to sit down with them and tell them the truth. That means, on one hand, yes, everybody dies and it can be sudden and shocking. But also, most likely, it's not going to happen for a very long time. While you are doing this, you might start to realize that you have a tendency to pull away because of the discomfort of this topic. You don't want to do that. Stay there with them. Help them express themselves. Anything that helps them. If you are there for them, they will get to where it's not such a huge issue for them. They will make sense of it, just like everybody does over time.