Teaching kids morality

Child Therapist, Douglas Green, MFT shares advice for parents on the best ways to teach your children morality and self-worth
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Teaching kids morality

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How can I teach my kids morality? We've all heard the old line, "Don't do as I do, do as I say." That's the single, worst way to teach your kid anything. It never works. Kids learn about 90 percent of what they get from their parents by observation, not by teaching. That's how they learn to talk, to walk, to interact, and, yes, values. So act on your own values. Sure, teach your kid, share with your sister, don't lie; but if your kid sees that you are lying, even if it is in very subtle ways, they will pick that up. There was a cartoon in "MAD Magazine" years ago, where a girl is suspended from school for stealing a slide rule; and her, "How could you do such a thing? Didn't you know I could bring one home from the office?" There is a lot of truth in that. Also, I would say, it's a really great idea to have moral discussions in front of your kids; difficult ones. Talk about the moral dilemmas you are facing during the day. Let the kids get in there. Let them debate. Hear their arguments. It's a great thing, it will not only teach the kids morality, but a lot of self-worth.

Child Therapist, Douglas Green, MFT shares advice for parents on the best ways to teach your children morality and self-worth

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Douglas Green, MFT

Child Therapist

Douglas Green left a successful career as a writer and director of film, stage and television to become a Psychotherapist, specializing in helping children and teenagers live lives they can be proud of.  He has a degree in Drama Therapy, and uses creative active techniques often in his work.  He has extensive experience in working with numerous childhood issues, such as ADHD, autism, Asperger's, depression, anxiety, and recovery from physical, sexual, and emotional Abuse.  He works at two offices, one in Woodland Hills, CA and one in West Los Angeles, CA, and is an Adjunct Professor at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

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Transcription: 
How can I teach my kids morality? We've all heard the old line, "Don't do as I do, do as I say." That's the single, worst way to teach your kid anything. It never works. Kids learn about 90 percent of what they get from their parents by observation, not by teaching. That's how they learn to talk, to walk, to interact, and, yes, values. So act on your own values. Sure, teach your kid, share with your sister, don't lie; but if your kid sees that you are lying, even if it is in very subtle ways, they will pick that up. There was a cartoon in "MAD Magazine" years ago, where a girl is suspended from school for stealing a slide rule; and her, "How could you do such a thing? Didn't you know I could bring one home from the office?" There is a lot of truth in that. Also, I would say, it's a really great idea to have moral discussions in front of your kids; difficult ones. Talk about the moral dilemmas you are facing during the day. Let the kids get in there. Let them debate. Hear their arguments. It's a great thing, it will not only teach the kids morality, but a lot of self-worth.