How do you get your child to talk to you

Frederick J. Goodall, Blogger of Mocha Dad, shares advice for parents from his personal experiences as a dad on how to get your child to open up and talk to you, even if your child is an introvert and shy
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How do you get your child to talk to you

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Transcription: 
If you want to develop a strong bond with your children, you have to listen. Children want to be heard. They need you to hear them. It’s so important that you listen to the words that they say. My daughter is an introvert. She doesn’t talk very much. She doesn’t really like to have long conversations with people, but the times that she talks, I know that I better listen because I know she has something to tell me. Many times we spend bedtime, right before she falls asleep, we have great conversations. I don’t know if it’s because she’s let her guard down or she’s relaxed, but those are the times where I sit on her bed and she lies down and she tells me about her day, she tells me about her concerns, she tells me about what’s going on in her life. And I just soak it in, even if it’s something I want to comment on. I just be quiet and listen and let her tell me about this situation. Later on, if she asks for advice, I’ll give her the advice that she wants, but at that moment, I just listen. Parents have to do a better job at simply listening. We always want to fix problems; we want to go in and make everything okay, but sometimes our children just need us to hear them. Sometimes they just want to have that voice and know that we can listen to them without judgement and they can tell us things that they can’t tell other people. So that’s the thing that really secures a strong bond, because that builds up some trust and that lets the children know that you are there for them and they can tell you anything. So that bond is really strengthened when you have those conversations.

Frederick J. Goodall, Blogger of Mocha Dad, shares advice for parents from his personal experiences as a dad on how to get your child to open up and talk to you, even if your child is an introvert and shy

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Frederick J. Goodall

Blogger, "Mocha Dad"

Frederick J. Goodall is a writer, a speaker, and a father. In 2008, he started the popular fatherhood blog, "Mocha Dad" to chronicle his life as a dad and to counter the negative stereotypes regarding black fatherhood. He wanted to give readers a first-hand account of a black father who is intimately involved in his children’s lives. Now he uses the blog to not only capture his experiences, but also to help motivate other men to be more actively engaged and involved with their children, families, and communities.

Through his writing, Goodall attempts to address serious cultural and social issues. His articles and essays have been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and journals such as The Houston Chronicle, Essence, and Folio Weekly. His work has also appeared in the anthologies: Paper Thin/Soul Deep and The African-American Book of Values. In addition, Goodall is a regular contributor to the websites Mamiverse, Goldfishsmiles, Your Teen Mag, and Together Counts. Goodall also travels the country speaking on the topics of fatherhood, men’s issues, social media, and blogging.

Goodall was born in Houston, Texas and graduated from Howard University in Washington, D.C. He currently lives in Houston with his wife and three kids.

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Transcription: 
If you want to develop a strong bond with your children, you have to listen. Children want to be heard. They need you to hear them. It’s so important that you listen to the words that they say. My daughter is an introvert. She doesn’t talk very much. She doesn’t really like to have long conversations with people, but the times that she talks, I know that I better listen because I know she has something to tell me. Many times we spend bedtime, right before she falls asleep, we have great conversations. I don’t know if it’s because she’s let her guard down or she’s relaxed, but those are the times where I sit on her bed and she lies down and she tells me about her day, she tells me about her concerns, she tells me about what’s going on in her life. And I just soak it in, even if it’s something I want to comment on. I just be quiet and listen and let her tell me about this situation. Later on, if she asks for advice, I’ll give her the advice that she wants, but at that moment, I just listen. Parents have to do a better job at simply listening. We always want to fix problems; we want to go in and make everything okay, but sometimes our children just need us to hear them. Sometimes they just want to have that voice and know that we can listen to them without judgement and they can tell us things that they can’t tell other people. So that’s the thing that really secures a strong bond, because that builds up some trust and that lets the children know that you are there for them and they can tell you anything. So that bond is really strengthened when you have those conversations.