How to improve attachments with our children

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD Pediatric Psychotherapist, shares advice for parents on the best methods for building and improving attachment with your child
How to Build a Secure Attachment with Your Child
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How to improve attachments with our children

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So, parent's can improve the type of attachments they can offer to their child by actually reflecting on their own attachment experiences. The research show's that it's not the kind of childhood that we had ourselves to determine how well we parent but actually how well we've made sense of those experiences we had. So as a parent, if i'm running from a not dealing from the experiences I had in my upbringing in terms of my relationships or if I'm preoccupied with them and thinking about them all the time and they kind of intruding upon what I'm doing, neither one of those allow me to provide a secure attachment to my child. But, if I've looked at my experiences growing up, maybe what was good and what wasn't and how that has affected me and I am able to create a whole coherent narrative around understanding those experiences and how they impact me, then I'm going to be able to offer that type of secure attachment to my children. And what the great news is, is that we can do that at anytime. We can improve our attachment to our children anytime by reflecting on those experiences and understanding them. Sometimes it can be helpful to find a therapist, or a friend or someone to talk about and reflect on those experiences because that can make a huge difference in what we offer our children.

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD Pediatric Psychotherapist, shares advice for parents on the best methods for building and improving attachment with your child

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Tina Payne Bryson, PhD

Psychotherapist & Author

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, is a psychotherapist at Pediatric and Adolescent Psychology Associates in Arcadia, California, where she sees children and adolescents, as well as provides parenting consultations. She is the school counselor at St. Marks Episcopal School in Altadena, CA, and a Developmental Consultant to Camp Chippewa for Boys. She speaks to parents, educators, and clinicians all across the country. Dr. Bryson earned her PhD from the University of Southern California, where her research explored attachment science, childrearing theory, and the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology. Her best-selling book The Whole-Brain Child (co-authored with Dr. Dan Siegel) gives parents practical ways to transform difficult moments into opportunities for children to thrive.  Dr. Bryson has written for a large number of publications, most recently the PBS series “This Emotional Life.”  She lives near Los Angeles with her husband and three children.  

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