How sexual predators groom kids and parents

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How sexual predators groom kids and parents

Grooming is the cornerstone to predator behavior; every single sexual assault case begins with some sort of grooming. Grooming is the behavior that parents fail at all the time. It’s the giving kids the undivided attention, unfettered interest in their lives and livelihood. They come in and fill the hole where parents fail. What do they do? They spend time learning about kid’s interests. They know all the movies, they know all the bands, they know all the problems, they know what all the texting language is, they know what’s happening on the web – they do that to create a relationship. Anybody who has a connectional relationship with someone is going to naturally fall prey to doing things that that person wants – it’s human nature. So predators capitalize on that desire for attention that kids so greatly want by filling in that hole and being available and accessible to them. I guarantee you – if there’s a predator out there, who wants to have access with the kid and they know that the kid is going through a divorce, the predator has been the product of divorce; if the kid likes a particular band, the predator likes that band; if a kid wants an iPod, the predator wants an iPod. They create a symbiotic relationship where the kid’s first phone call becomes the predator. And by building in the relationship, they build in trust. And when you build trust, you have unfettered access to the kid. And what parents don’t realize is that as much energy as predators spend grooming a kid, they spend equally as much time grooming the parents. Because there is no better thing than to have a parent say, “Oh, it’s okay to go with Mr. So and So.” And they are able to get that only once the predator has also groomed the parent. And it makes it much more difficult for the kid to disclose to their parent if the kid knows that the parent trusts and likes the predator too.

View Robin Sax's video on How sexual predators groom kids and parents...


Expert Bio

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Robin Sax

Attorney & Legal Analyst

Robin is a legal analyst for Fox11 Los Angeles (KTTV). She appears there daily offering legal insight and analysis as well as parenting and safety expertise.  She also regularly contributes her legal and parenting expertise to The TODAY Show, Entertainment Tonight, Good Morning America, CNN, and HLN. She covers both the unknown and known high profile cases including Conrad Murray, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Casey Anthony, Jaycee Dugard, OJ Simpson and many more.

Robin is also a former Los Angeles County Deputy District Attorney and Riverside County Deputy District Attorney who specialized in sex crimes against children. For over 15 years she prosecuted some of the most despicable defendants who committed the most heinous crimes, prosecuting hundreds of felony crimes including homicides, stalking, domestic violence, child sexual assault, and gang crimes. 

She is an author who has penned six books, including The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Criminal Justice System and Predators and Child Molesters:  A Sex Crimes DA Answers 100 of the Most Asked Questions all of which draw on her vast experience as a prosecutor and victim right's advocate. Her powerful insights have regularly graced the pages of The Huffington Post, Psychology Today, People Magazine, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, The Los Angeles Times and the Women in Crime Ink blog.

In addition to advising numerous legal foundations, Robin regularly shares her valuable insight and expertise through speaking and teaching with members of the FBI, Los Angeles Police Department, Sheriff’s Department, and the California District Attorney’s Association. Robin has served as adjunct professor of Women and Crime at Cal State Los Angeles and lecturer on criminal law and the justice system in UCLA’s Paralegal Training Program.

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