Conception options for same-sex couples

Susan Goldberg, MA, Author & Blogger, shares advice for same-sex parents or parents-to-be on the various conception options available in order to reproduce
Conception Options Available For Same-Sex Couples
KidsInTheHouse the Ultimate Parenting Resource
Kids in the House Tour

Conception options for same-sex couples

So my advice for queer parents or parents-to-be, when they're trying to figure out how to get pregnant. Well the obvious, I think the biggest decision to make is whether they're going to go with an anonymous egg or sperm donor and surrogate then or a known donor. And that's a really big question. And I think some people know. They really want just the two of them to be the parents and have that to be their unit and have that be their family. And I think other people really want to open it up. They want to have more of a sense of knowledge about who this person is that's going to be biologically a part of this child. And you can go both ways. I think the best thing to do is if you're not quite sure talk to people. Find out other parents that you know. Ask them what their experiences were like, why they made the decisions that they made, what they enjoyed about it. There's lots of books out there, lots of anthologies that tell you stories. There's lots of online forums. There's lots of ways to suss out what the right decision might be for you. And I think the other thing is when you're thinking about having a baby, thinking about getting pregnant, you think so much about the immediate term. We want to get this going, we want to get pregnant, we want to have this baby. But that baby is going to to be a child and then also a teenager. And it's going to grow up. And I think you need to also think about what would my child want? Would they want to know who their biological parents are. Do they want to know that right away. Are they going to want to know that when they're 18 years old? Can they wait? I think if you go with a known donor, you also have to understand that this person is going to be a lifelong relationship with you, potentially, and that has to be something you have to take into account right from the get go. So there's a lot of decisions to make. There's plenty of really happy stories on both ends of the spectrum, and there's plenty of stories that maybe didn't work out as well. So that's a really big question.

Susan Goldberg, MA, Author & Blogger, shares advice for same-sex parents or parents-to-be on the various conception options available in order to reproduce


Expert Bio

More from Expert

Susan Goldberg, MA

Author & Blogger

Susan Goldberg is a writer, editor, essayist and blogger, and coeditor of the award-winning anthology And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families. Her writing has been featured on the CBC and the Globe and Mail, in Ms., Lilith, and Stealing Time magazines, and several anthologies, including the forthcoming Chasing Rainbows: Exploring Gender-Fluid Parenting Practices. Susan is a contributing blogger at Today’ and In 2012, she was chosen as one of BlogHer’s Voices of the Year. She’s currently (always) working on a novel, called Step on a Crack, and on Overflow, a one-woman performance piece about lingerie and breast cancer. Susan lives in Thunder Bay, Ontario, with her partner and their two sons.

More Parenting Videos from Susan Goldberg, MA >
Enter your email to
download & subscribe
to our newsletter