Allowing your teenager to blossom

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Allowing your teenager to blossom

Will it surprise you to hear that it is an utter delight to raise a 13-year-old boy? I think it's really important for people to know that whatever preconceptions they have about teenagers, whether it has to do with their behavior, their expectations, whatever they are. Consider giving those stereotypes a rest, and letting your child really show you who he is, or who she is. I feel like raising a 13-year-old, at least right now, I am just enjoying the show. I am standing back. I am watching somebody blossom, and I am realizing that when kids are younger you just don't know them very well yet. Literally, when you have a 3-year-old, you've known somebody for 3 years. You don't know them very well. You are coming to get to know this person who's very much an individual. But by the time they get older, when they're 13, you've been around the block together a few times, and you know each other. And I feel like there is such a pleasure in letting that develop. I find that as my son gets older I stand back further. I allow him to do a little more steering of the ship. And I really try to express my confidence in him. Let him know that I believe in him. I believe that he will make good choices, that he has a great head on his shoulders and that I'll be here to help, and so will my husband if he needs it. But I trust that he can navigate pretty well on his own. And he seems to be, you know, taking up the charge pretty well.

See Asha Dornfest's video on Allowing your teenager to blossom...


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Asha Dornfest

Author of Minimalist Parenting

Asha Dornfest is the co-author of Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less, and the founder of Parent Hacks, an award-winning website devoted to sharing “forehead-smackingly smart” parenting advice. Since its launch in 2005, Parent Hacks has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Real Simple, Family Circle, and Parents, and has been named the “#1 Most Useful” of Babble’s Top 50 Mom Blogs three of the four years the honor has been given. Nielsen named Asha one of its 16 influential “Power Pack Moms,” and she has appeared in several TV and video broadcasts including CNN and ABC News Now. Asha lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and two children.


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