Using code words with teens to get them out of trouble

Learn how using code words with your child can help keep your teen out of trouble and bad social situations with advice from Michael Dennis, PhD Adolescent Psychologist
How to Use Code Words with Your Teen to Keep Them Out of Trouble
KidsInTheHouse the Ultimate Parenting Resource
Kids in the House Tour

Using code words with teens to get them out of trouble

Comment
128
Like
128
Transcription: 
One of the tools that a lot of parents have found helps, is we use a code word or a pattern of talking with our kids to help them get out of a social situation that is uncomfortable This might be because of alcohol or drug use or because there is sex going on that the teen doesn't want to be a part of. As a parent, you really want to help your teen get out of a situation that is bad like that. So one of the ways you can do it is arrange for a code word they can use in which you will start a conversation and say, we need to go now, you need to come home with me. They don't even have to ask you, they said the code word. "How is aunt Mary?" If you don't have an aunt Mary, that's the code word, then you can say, "She's at the house waiting. Why don't you come home with me, so you can come see her?" In today's age, with cell phones, even more important thing is to have the ability to call you up and start an argument with you in which you are telling them to come home and clean a room, do their homework, or something else, and they need to come home right now. You pick up the phone and they start talking to you like you are having this argument, you just go with the flow and say, "Okay. I'm going to come and pick you up right now, where are you?" Or if they have a car, they can come home, but that gives them a social device to extract themselves from a social situation where they don't want to be there. It's a great trick as a parent to support your teen to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

Learn how using code words with your child can help keep your teen out of trouble and bad social situations with advice from Michael Dennis, PhD Adolescent Psychologist

Transcript

Expert Bio

More from Expert

Michael Dennis, PhD

Psychologist

Michael Dennis, PhD, is a senior research psychologist and Director of the Global Appraisal of Individual Needs (GAIN) coordinating center at Chestnut Health Systems in Normal, Illinois. Over the past 25 years his primary area of research has been to better understand and manage addiction and recovery over the life course. This includes multiple clinical trials to compare the effectiveness of adolescent treatment approaches and recovery support services, longitudinal studies with adolescents, adults and older adults to understand the predictors of entering and sustaining recovery, and creating the Global Appraisal of Individual Needs (GAIN) coordinating center for teaching evidenced based assessment to support clinical decision making at the individual level and program evaluation. He has multiple awards for moving the field from science to practice, promoting diversity through practice based evidence and bringing more people into the field.

More Parenting Videos from Michael Dennis, PhD >
Enter your email to
download & subscribe
to our newsletter