How to create a loving yet independent twin relationship

Joan Friedman, PhD Psychologist & Twin Expert, shares advice for parents on how to help their twin children grow a loving yet independent relationship between them
Raising Twins | Creating A Loving Yet Independent Twin Relationship
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How to create a loving yet independent twin relationship

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My research has shown that twins who feel good about themselves as individuals manage their inevitable differences. If they've had a reciprocal, loving relationship growing up, they really do act as caretakers and mentors and guides for one another. Their loving relationship absorbs the expectable feelings of jealousy and competition that arise among all siblings. Twins, you can imagine, are very sensitive to how they measure up in relationship to their twin because they've grown up where they've been compared and labeled throughout so much of their lives. A healthy twinship is a situation where two individual people really feel good about themselves as individuals. I love this story that a woman that I interviewed told me. She's a 51 year old identical female twin. She said, "When I drive to work every day, I get a call from my twin sister. I love hearing her voice. It's like a twin-infused vitamin."

Joan Friedman, PhD Psychologist & Twin Expert, shares advice for parents on how to help their twin children grow a loving yet independent relationship between them

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Joan Friedman, PhD

Psychologist & Twin Expert

Dr. Joan A. Friedman is a prominent and well-respected twin expert who shares her passionate views and insights about twins and their emotional needs with twins and their families throughout the world. The fact that she is an identical twin and the mother of five, including fraternal twin sons, makes her ideally suited to this task. Her commitment to twin research and her treatment of twins of all ages demonstrate the breadth and depth of her skills and experience. She conducts ongoing groups for parents of twins and provides consultation on twin related matters such as school placements, developmental discrepancies, and behavioral issues.

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Transcription: 
My research has shown that twins who feel good about themselves as individuals manage their inevitable differences. If they've had a reciprocal, loving relationship growing up, they really do act as caretakers and mentors and guides for one another. Their loving relationship absorbs the expectable feelings of jealousy and competition that arise among all siblings. Twins, you can imagine, are very sensitive to how they measure up in relationship to their twin because they've grown up where they've been compared and labeled throughout so much of their lives. A healthy twinship is a situation where two individual people really feel good about themselves as individuals. I love this story that a woman that I interviewed told me. She's a 51 year old identical female twin. She said, "When I drive to work every day, I get a call from my twin sister. I love hearing her voice. It's like a twin-infused vitamin."