Foster children for adoption

David Brodzinsky, PhD Psychologist and Author, shares advice for parents choosing to adopt an older child on how to bond with your adopted child and how adopting an older child is different than a younger one
Advice For Adopting An Older Child - Kidsinthehouse.com
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Foster children for adoption

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When parents adopt somewhat older children, around eight, let's say, they have to start with a really basic understanding of something. And that is that for most of these children, everything that they've learned before coming into the family has taught them one thing, and that is that they can't trust what people promise them. They've been promised different things and it hasn't come through. So parents need to be aware that the bonding process will take some time. It'll take emotionally attuned parenting, being sensitive of the children's needs. It will take ways of being appropriately, in an age-appropriate way I should say, physical with this child, brushing the child's hair, putting lotion on his or her back when the skin is dry, doing it gently, good eye contact, playing games with the child, being involved with the child and even a little bit of rough and tumble play sometimes is a way of creating that physical and emotional connection.

David Brodzinsky, PhD Psychologist and Author, shares advice for parents choosing to adopt an older child on how to bond with your adopted child and how adopting an older child is different than a younger one

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David Brodzinsky, PhD

Psychologist & Author

David Brodzinsky is Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology and Director of the Foster Care Counseling Project at Rutgers University. He also maintains an active private practice serving the clinical needs of children and families, including individuals who are part of the adoption triad. Brodzinsky has written and lectured extensively in the fields of developmental and clinical psychology and is an internationally known expert in the field of adoption. He is co-author of such well-known books as, The Psychology of Adoption, Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self, and Children's Adjustment to Adoption: Developmental and Clinical Issues.

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Transcription: 
When parents adopt somewhat older children, around eight, let's say, they have to start with a really basic understanding of something. And that is that for most of these children, everything that they've learned before coming into the family has taught them one thing, and that is that they can't trust what people promise them. They've been promised different things and it hasn't come through. So parents need to be aware that the bonding process will take some time. It'll take emotionally attuned parenting, being sensitive of the children's needs. It will take ways of being appropriately, in an age-appropriate way I should say, physical with this child, brushing the child's hair, putting lotion on his or her back when the skin is dry, doing it gently, good eye contact, playing games with the child, being involved with the child and even a little bit of rough and tumble play sometimes is a way of creating that physical and emotional connection.