Accepting children for who they are

Learn about: Accepting children for who they are from Elisabeth Rohm,...
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Accepting children for who they are

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There's a big question I think for all us parents, nature versus nurture. Who are these people? Are we responsible for everything that they are? I know looking back on my childhood, it took a long time to stop blaming my parents or over-congratulating them for who I was. I just was who I was and yes, there is a lot of environment that makes you who you are but let's just look at two parents, same parents, two kids a year apart let’s say, two completely different people and recognizing that and taking that weight off their shoulders. You're not responsible for everything but also recognizing who they are. And even with Easton who's 6 years old I see respect is such a huge word in my relationship with her because she's totally different from me. She's not going to be an actress. She's not going to be a performer, you know. She doesn't know how to read and write yet so I don't know if she's going to be an author but I can say that we're very different people and yet you have to be the greatest parent you can be, of course, but you also have to recognize when you see something in your child that's different from you and cultivate it and support it and not judge it and question it and not be intimidated by it and not compete with it either. Because they may be more successful or do things you never even dreamed of, that never even traipsed across your imagination as a possibility for you, is something that they intuitively and distinctly think about themselves. It's something that they want. It's something that they've got. It's a gift and it's your job to like Callie Brand said, to not own your children. They are not your possessions. They are not your purpose. You are on your own life path. You are there simply as a springboard for them to go into their lives and it is a privilege to be a parent and that is what your parenting duties I think really are when you define them to the most minute detail. You are there as a springboard for them to spring into their freedom from you. They do not belong to you. My step-mom said something really great this weekend. She said, "If you accept your children for who they are, they will not abandon you," and I thought that was great because she has a 24-year-old, a 27-year-old and I'm 40. So she has children who have different age ranges who've not abandoned her, who love coming home, love family dinner. It's not obligatory; it's fun and we look forward to it and we've actually become a much tighter family as we've all gotten older because she's sort of gotten out of the way a little bit and accepted us and always, every step of the way, maybe because she was a working mom, she cultivated our individuality and didn't compete with it or judge it or interfere with it because it was different than her own. Because we have innate gifts that she didn't have and she recognized them. And just like hers were recognized in her, and her's were cultivated so she achieved success. I think if you're thinking about supporting a child to pursue a career and again I'll say a child to pursue a career, not a hobby because if they want to go into the arts or they want to be an athlete, you're embarking on a career at a young age. You’re having to nurture them as a parent would and give them that love and support when they're having to work 14 hours a day and their friends are going to birthday parties and playing and falling in love and all these things that are happening and they're having a grueling working day, you have to support your child through that but you also have to not interfere with it if that's really what they want to do and it can be very confusing I think. I've seen it working with actresses and actors, young actors on movies and television shows. You're just looking at them you know, you're dog tired standing in your high heels, doing a scene and they're right there next to you and they're 10. And you can't help but be a little curious, "Why are you here? Do you have a passion for this or did your mom make you do it?" but you can see it in their eyes, at least the ones who want to be there, that they love it. So you have to cultivate that, their individuality.

Learn about: Accepting children for who they are from Elisabeth Rohm,...

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Elisabeth Rohm

Mom, Actress, Author

Seen to many as a supermom, actress Elisabeth Röhm has been successfully juggling a full time job as a mother and actress over the past few years. Not only is she a successful film and T.V star, she also has a published book, and a weekly celebrity mom blog on People.com that reaches over a million readers—it is amazing that she stays beautiful, healthy and positive while managing to be consistently by her daughter’s side. Currently, Elisabeth plays "Amanda" on the new CBS TV series Stalker.
 
These past couple years were eventful as Röhm was seen in several feature films. She starred in Warner Bros.’ thriller Transit across James Caviezel, produced by Joel Silver. She teamed up with Kyra Sedgwick and Vincent Donofrio in Chlorine. Elisabeth shot the Lionsgate feature by Brian A. Miller, title Officer Down, as well as Darkroom, an independent feature directed by Britt Napier and produced by Michael A. Liberty and Ron Stein (The Kids Are Alright). Last year, Elisabeth also starred in David O. Russell’s critically acclaimed film, American Hustle, co-starring Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, and Jennifer Lawrence. Röhm, along with her cast won the SAG Outstanding Performance by a cast in a Motion Picture Award. 
 
Elisabeth was also seen on the Lifetime TV Show, The Client List, as “Taylor Berkhalter”. Her character is a mother who is in continuous competition with Riley (Jennifer Love Hewitt). She also has written a book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not as I Expected), that came out just last year. Elisabeth has always been very open about her struggles getting pregnant and going through the challenges of IVF. The book tells the often hidden truth behind infertility. As she struggled with infertility, she kept it to herself, but now for the first time she reveals the whole story, learning about and accepting her infertility, the disappointment, the stress and the shame. 
 
Born in Europe, yet a U.S. citizen, Röhm was raised in New York City. Her first childhood interest was riding horses, for which she trained intensively. By the time she entered Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, NY, her goals shifted to writing in the form of fiction and history. It was during college when Röhm fell in love with acting. After receiving her degree, she quickly found work on the soap opera One Life to Live and followed it up with a long line of recurring appearances on the WB television show, Angel. However, most know Röhm best as the “A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn” on the NBC staple series, Law & Order where Dick Wolf, creator/producer of Law & Order praised her as “one of the finest young actresses working in television.” She went on to star as “Alex Mason,” a love interst to Michael Vartan’s character, in the ABC drama Big Shots and later returned to NBC as a new addition to the cast of the cult-favorite Heroes.
 
Röhm has also starred in numerous films including Abduction alongside Taylor Lautner and Sigourney Weaver, Miss Congeniality 2, starring Sandra Bullock, and Woody Allen’s Deconstructing Harry.  She starred in Kreutzer Sonata, an independent project co-starring Danny Huston and starred opposite James Caan in the film Barry Minkow. You can expect great things from her entering the next couple years. 
 
The desire to seek new challenges is not unusual for someone so multi-talented. Röhm is writing a cookbook (brilliantly titled “The Wooing of the gay Man and the Actress”) as she loves to cook, sings, and continues to ride horses; she also includes hiking, biking, skiing, yoga, traveling and studying architecture among her hobbies. Being that she believes in health and being active, she is developing a gym franchise and has already invested in Circuit Works located in Brentwood, CA and is a co-owner for a juice bar called REJUICE located in Santa Monica. She supports The Red Cross, The Go Red Foundation, Healthy Child Healthy World and as a whole does what she can to support children and women in need globally.
 
Röhm welcomed her first child, a girl named Easton, on April 10, 2008. She retains residences in New York, Venice, CA, and in Holland.
 
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