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Seven Tips to Raise a Resilient Child

Dec 22, 2016

Every experience a child has is meant to prepare them for life as an adult. Parents who want to raise resilient children must give them the tools to withstand the countless obstacles that come as they mature. With these seven tips, parents can ensure that they are raising a child that is flexible and able to withstand the difficulties of life.

1. Cultivate Experiences

Pastor Jimmy Bartz suggests parents allow their children to experience the ups and downs of life.  Whether children face triumph or failure, it is the experience that will teach them how to deal with certain situations. Encouraging age-appropriate experiences allows children to develop the necessary skills to cope with a diverse set of issues.

2. Don’t Cater To Your Childs Every Whim

As parents, we want to meet the needs of our children. There are some basic (and not-so-basic) needs to take care of in order to make our kids happier or show them that we love them. However, some needs are unrealistic. Parents do a disservice to their child when they cater to their frivolous woes.  For instance, sleeping on the floor of your child’s room so they can comfortably go to sleep every night is not a good way to solve your child’s issues. Parents should work within boundaries when it comes to meeting the needs of their child and really work to decipher if they are catering to a need that is necessary or giving in to a need that will only hinder their child’s development.

3. Let Them Find Their Own Answers

Psychologist Rebecca Eberlin suggests parents shy away from rushing to solve their child’s problems. In order for children to develop the skills that they will need to solve future problems, parents will have to allow them to find some of the answers on their own. This may mean allowing a child to struggle a little so that they can solve their own problems.

4. Teach them to Critical Thinking Skills

Allowing children to go through the problem solving process helps build critical thinking skills. Parents can help foster this process simply by giving their child choices and allowing them to weigh the pros and cons of each situation before making a decision. In this way the child is practicing how to think their way through a situation.

5. Talk to Your Children

Parents can help their child face challenges by simply talking with them until they reach a solution. Parents can play a proactive part in the problem-solving process and help their child solve issues. It is important that parents listen to their child and not coach them towards an answer. Allow your child to come up with a solution for himself.

6. Help Them Manage Their Emotions

Resilient children are confident in their decision-making process, but this can often be overclouded by emotion. Eberlin suggests that parents teach their children to slow down and think their way through a situation. This allows them time to calm down and avoid making decisions based on how they feel.

7. Be A Resilient Model

The best way to raise a resilient child is to be a resilient parent. Allow your child to see you deal with different issues by finding solutions. Most importantly, if a child sees that their parents are capable of thinking their way through a situation, then they are more likely to model that behavior. Resilient parents raise resilient children.


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#7 is important for teaching your kids anything. If you want your kids to be something, you need to be something first.

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Learning to cope with changes is also really important to help kids deal with the obstacles they will face in life. 

I think that #1 is really important because it helps them learn about different cultures and how to interact with people in different situations. 

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