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From DINKs to Diapers In 9 Days

Lisa Steadman is a relationship expert, bestselling author, writer/producer, media personality, and highly sought after voice for women who are redefining what Having It All looks like. From her best selling books including her runaway hit It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown to her hilarious and heartfelt blog/Twitter following chronicling her Confessions Of An Imposter Mom, audiences rave about Lisa’s refreshingly real world take on the ages + relationship stages women find themselves in (single, dating, mating, marriage, motherhood, divorce, starting over) – and how to navigate each with humility and humor.

At 40, I was perfectly happy with the DINKs By Design lifestyle my husband and I had created for ourselves. My reasons for not wanting children were many: There were the financial burdens, lack of sleep, loss of your sex life, the messy house, the potential disagreements between parents about how to raise and nurture a child, not to mention my desire to have my husband’s undivided attention. Were these reasons selfish? Sure. But they were mine. And like any good DINK (Dual Income, No Kids), I was dedicated to them.
Most parents-to-be have nine months to prepare for a baby. When my husband and I found out his sister and her baby daddy had been arrested and faced possible prison time while our then-one-year-old niece had been thrust into the foster care system, we had exactly nine days to get ready for full time foster parenting. And while our instant immersion into caring for a baby was overwhelming enough, what proved all the more overwhelming was how to successfully coparent this chid with her incarcerated mom and her Guatemalan grandmother.
One of the best life decisions I’ve ever made was to marry a man who’s a far better human being than I. So it should have come as no surprise that when my husband and I became instant foster parents three years ago to our then-1-year-old niece, he took to parenting like a champ as I struggled, stumbled, and fumbled in the beginning.
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