Supporting a friend through miscarriage

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Supporting a friend through miscarriage

Ways that you can help a friend through a miscarriage are to be there to listen to the, hear their story. Hear how they are sad. Not to say, "It's okay," or "You have two, you don't need a third," or "Maybe there was something wrong with the child." Those things really make you hurt even more. Allow them to tell their story, feel their loss, and be there for them. Remember, be sensitive. They are probably thinking nine months from then, "I could have a healthy child right now." And they don't. If you see they are being sad, revisit the fact that they miscarried nine months earlier. It's also important -- at least for me, having had four miscarriages -- that my friends were also trying to get pregnant and having miscarriages of their own. If they were pregnant, I needed to be sensitive to the fact that they were excited. They were very happy. But I also happy when they recognized that their happiness, their excitement, was a reminder that I wasn't experiencing what they were experiencing. It's just hearing each other's stories. Being there for your friends and not saying, "Hey, it's going to be okay," because things are not okay. We all know that things will be okay in the future.
PREGNANCY, Miscarriage and Loss

View Helena Heyman's video on Supporting a friend through miscarriage...


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Helena Heyman

Literary Manager & Mom

Helena Heyman is a yoga-loving, working mother of three children aged seven, five and four months. She lives in the Los Angeles area, where she works as a literary manager. 

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