Milestones and tips for 13-year-old girls

Watch Video: Milestones and tips for 13-year-old girls by SuEllen Hamkins, MD, ...
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Milestones and tips for 13-year-old girls

At 13, your daughter is growing in autonomy and more of her life takes place outside of your awareness. At 13, your daughter is taking increasing risks. Some of which you feel great about like trying out for a play and others that you worry about like hanging out with older teenagers. At 13, your daughter is really interested in being with her friends all the time and her plans on a Friday night may change up until the very last minute because she is trying to figure out who’s doing what with whom and she wants to be a part of it. You connect with your daughter at 13 by supporting her autonomy. She wants to be out in the world more and you can actually stay connected with her my talking to her about how she can start having more freedom out in the world like taking the subway across town by herself. In addition, 13 is a great age to take a self-defense class with your daughter. You'll both enjoy it and you'll have confidence that she’ll some have skills she can really use out in the world. Thirteen-year-olds like adventures. So another thing you can do is to give her a budget and have her plan your itinerary for a trip to another city and you can do that with just you and her or with another mother-daughter pair is she is more comfortable that way.
TEEN, Health and Development

Watch Video: Milestones and tips for 13-year-old girls by SuEllen Hamkins, MD, ...


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SuEllen Hamkins, MD

Psychiatrist & Author

SuEllen Hamkins, MD, is a psychiatrist, author and founding member of the Mother-Daughter Project, a community of women and girls that developed powerful, practical ways to help mothers and daughters stay connected and thrive through adolescence. Co-author of The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds and Thrive Through Adolescence, Dr. Hamkins has given numerous presentations for parents and psychotherapists around the world, focusing on mothers, daughters, their relationships and the kinds of communities that nurture them.  As the psychiatrist for the Smith College Counseling Service from 1992-2004, SuEllen offered consultation to over a thousand women ages 16 to 23 to help them resist and overcome problems such as anorexia, bulimia, depression, anxiety, trauma, assault, and self-injury.  In addition to her work on behalf of mothers and daughters, as the Assistant Director for Psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, she has been instrumental in developing strengths-based, narrative approaches to psychotherapy and psychiatric practice, helping people cultivate their values and strengths in the face of serious difficulties.  SuEllen is the mother of two daughters, now 17 and 22, and raising them has been the most thrilling and rewarding work of her life. She lives with her husband and younger daughter in western Massachusetts, where they love to swim outdoors, cross country ski, shoe snow, dance, cook and lounge around in the living room, reading. 

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