Helping kids stay confident when coping with failure

Performance Psychologist Michael Gervaise, PhD, shares advice for parents on how to help keep their kid's self-confidence up after dealing with failure
Helping Your Child Stay Confident When Dealing With Failure
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Helping kids stay confident when coping with failure

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One of the things that we’ve learned from some of the greatest coaches in the world is that training and practice is where failure is best observed. And so we want to support children to understand failure. We want to support them that with mistakes, with losses, with failure that’s where we learn how to get better. That’s where we learn how to become more proficient at what we’re doing. So failure in a moment is something that helps in that process. So if we can structure opportunities where people are met with a challenge where they might fail, where they might make a mistake, they might not be proficient, it’s part of the sting. It’s part of the pain that allows people to grow, to move forward. And so we want to be able to structure opportunities in practice, in everyday life, where they might meet failure. And if we can do that on a basis where we are really supporting who they are and we’re not judging them for the mistakes that they make, then we can help them engage in opportunities where they’re going to test themselves and deal with the failure. Not avoid it, but know how to work through it.

Performance Psychologist Michael Gervaise, PhD, shares advice for parents on how to help keep their kid's self-confidence up after dealing with failure

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Michael Gervais, PhD

High Performance Psychologist

Dr. Michael Gervais, a licensed psychologist and industry visionary, is a founding partner of Pinnacle Performance Center. He focuses most of his time on people at the "top of their game," from NBA players, to Olympians, to military personnel. Dr. Gervais has a clear understanding of how performers become and consistently excel at a world-class level. Spending years in the trenches of high-stakes circumstances, Dr. Gervais has developed clarity for the tools that allow people to "thrive under pressure."

Dr. Gervais is a published, peer-reviewed author and a nationally recognized speaker on issues related to high performance for those who excel on the largest stages in the world.

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Transcription: 
One of the things that we’ve learned from some of the greatest coaches in the world is that training and practice is where failure is best observed. And so we want to support children to understand failure. We want to support them that with mistakes, with losses, with failure that’s where we learn how to get better. That’s where we learn how to become more proficient at what we’re doing. So failure in a moment is something that helps in that process. So if we can structure opportunities where people are met with a challenge where they might fail, where they might make a mistake, they might not be proficient, it’s part of the sting. It’s part of the pain that allows people to grow, to move forward. And so we want to be able to structure opportunities in practice, in everyday life, where they might meet failure. And if we can do that on a basis where we are really supporting who they are and we’re not judging them for the mistakes that they make, then we can help them engage in opportunities where they’re going to test themselves and deal with the failure. Not avoid it, but know how to work through it.