Disagreements without battles

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Disagreements without battles

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It is amazing how often what seems like it´s going to be a calm discussion turns into a battle or an argument. One of the things though that I say to parents is if there are some topics you have to bring up with your child and you know that they may be upset by what you have to bring up, you, again, have to think about how can I bring it up where they don´t get as upset. One thing is sometimes you may first mention things that they are doing well, things you are proud of so at least you are setting a positive tone. Secondly, one of the things I recommend is that parents say to their child there are some things that I want to bring up but if you disagree with me, please let me know. Now, I will tell you every kid is going to say I disagree with you but by saying to them you have a right to disagree, I have found kids are actually more willing to listen to you. They will say I disagree and then a parent can say we have to figure out what else may be going on here. So what you want to do is set a tone that does not get out of hand with great deal of anger.

Watch Robert Brooks, PhD's video on Disagreements without battles...

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Robert Brooks, PhD

Therapist & Author

Dr. Robert Brooks is a psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School.  He has lectured nationally and internationally and written extensively about the themes of resilience, parenting, family relationships, school climate, and balancing our personal and professional lives. He is the author or co-author of 15 books and has also appeared in several videos pertaining to helping children to become more responsible, self-disciplined, hopeful, and resilient.

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