How do kids react to equally shared parenting home

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How do kids react to equally shared parenting home

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What about kids who grow up in an Equally Shared Parenting home? Do they notice that their home is any different from the neighbors' for example? Well, obviously kids notice everything so we can take that for granted. They're going to know what we're saying, what we're doing, maybe even what we're thinking. But when they first start out, obviously, as newborns, they're not going to understand what their families stand for compared to other families. They will, however, begin to verbalize the idea of Equally Shared Parenting. For example, my daughter, when she as very young and fell down and had a boo-boo and called for a parent, she would call for "A parent." "I need a parent," as opposed to, "Mom" or "Dad" for that matter. it's a silly example but it kind of shows you that they're learning, they're internalizing and they're understanding that they can call for either of us and that either of us will make things better. And that's actually a lovely feeling. As they grow older they will begin to understand that their family may be a little bit different and they'll mostly get this from when they watch television or the movies or those television advertisements that say, "Dad is a bumbling idiot. Mom's in charge at home. Mom's tired and she needs to relax," that kind of things. It won't resonate with them or they'll say, "That's not how our family works." In my particular case with my husband they'll even say, "That's not Equally Shared Parenting," but I'm not sure kids would use that particular terminology in other homes. As they grow older and older, however, they'll begin to internalize Equally Shared Parenting as a philosophy and most older children that I've interviewed from Equally Shared Parenting homes actually aspire to Equally Shared Parenting in a very concrete way. They've grown up in a household where mom and day can do everything, and mom and dad even have time to have fun. So they grown up learning that it's not a horrible life to be an adult and they want this for themselves so they tend to speak in terms of not settling for a life where they have to go back to traditional gender roles but rather one where the sky's the limit

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Amy Vachon

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Marc and Amy Vachon are the authors of Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents, and founders of www.equallysharedparenting.com. They are dedicated to helping parents achieve their dream of an equal partnership, and to providing both mothers and fathers with a roadmap to a balanced life of parenting, breadwinning, homemaking and time for self. Their work has been covered by the New York Times, Boston Globe, Guardian (UK), Fitness Magazine, The Today Show, Parenting, and other media. They have written their own personal story of equally shared parenting in One Big Happy Family, an anthology by Rebecca Walker. Amy is a clinical pharmacy director, and Marc is an information technology manager. They live in Watertown, Massachusetts with their two children, ages 11 and 8.

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